Page 80 of Kiss the Girl

“No one knows what the future holds…”

“Yeah, I know and I get that, but I can look at Austin and Mia and tell myself that they’re good. They’re happy and in love and ready to be parents. In my mind, they’re going to be way more competent at it than I ever was, and your brother is going to rise to the occasion and be an incredible dad.”

He nodded because there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that his big brother was going to be an amazing father.

“You have no idea what a thrill it was for me to see Garrett and Emma get married. They’re the kind of couple that are going to be the heart and soul of Magnolia Sound. I picture them waiting a little longer to have kids because the veterinary clinic is going to take so much of his time, but when they do finally start a family, they’re going to carry on the Coleman legacy that your great-grandfather loved so much.”

Smiling, he sat back down. “That sounds like Garrett.”

“I got to spend some time with your mom and Dominic after the wedding,” Cash went on, surprising him.

“You did?”

“Yup. And I have to say, I approve.”

“No one was really asking…”

“I approve,” he repeated more firmly. “I never loved anyone else—only your mother. She always deserved more and I hate that I screwed that up for her. But I think Dom is going to take good care of her.” His voice cracked and it was obvious how hard this particular relationship was for him.

They both grew quiet and Jackson had to wonder about himself and where his father pictured him in the future. He knew he had to ask.

“What about me?” he asked hesitantly.

The long breath Cash let out told him this wasn’t going to be good.

“I thought I could relax where you’re concerned, but it turns out…I was wrong.”

Frowning, he was about to ask for an explanation, but it wasn’t necessary.

“Years ago, I remember sitting with Henry—Savannah’s father—and he was complaining about that jerk she married. He kept saying how he couldn’t believe there were no good guys out there.” He chuckled. “And I said, ‘I’ve got three good guys, but Savi would be perfect for Jackson.’ Henry laughed and said, ‘If only,’ but in the back of my mind, it stuck. I just knew that the two of you were right for each other.”

“How could you know that? You didn’t even know me. Not really.”

“Jackson, you’re my son and I know you. I might not have been around, but I knew your personality from when you were younger and the fact that you were a Marine told me you grew into a man of honor. Plus, your mother never would have raised anything less than a good man,” he explained sternly. “That the two of you met up without me getting involved just confirmed that I was right. I’d never seen her so happy—so animated—as she was that morning after she met you. Of course, she was disappointed that you didn’t ask for her number, but she was going to try to find you again.”

“She was?”

“She was.” He paused. “You know she’s just scared, and she’s going to fight you on it and try to come off like she doesn’t feel anything, but…she does.”

All he could do was nod and pray his father was right.

“She’s lost so much, Jackson. There are walls she’s built up around herself. It’s a defense mechanism. But believe me when I tell you that she feels and she feels deeply.” He opened his eyes and seemed more alert and coherent than he had in days. “You scare her because you’re the first person she’s let her guard down with and it’s because of your connection to me that’s gonna make her run.”

“Yeah,” he said with a sigh, and felt completely overwhelmed with emotion. “I was mad and I may have said some things that I shouldn’t have.” Raking a hand through his hair, he contemplated asking one more question, and figured if he ever wanted some peace, he would have to. “Why was it so easy to be there for Savannah but not for me or Austin or Garrett?”

“That’s where you’re wrong. It wasn’t easy. It was never easy. For years I didn’t allow myself to think about what I’d done except to tell myself it was all for the best. And I believed it. The few times I went back to Magnolia, everyone was quick to jump on my case and tell me what a crappy person I was and how awful I was and how you were all better off without me.” He let out a low laugh. “Would you want to stick around?”

“For my kids? Yeah. Yeah, I would.”

Cash nodded solemnly. “When I found myself in Seattle after doing odd jobs across the country, I hit rock bottom. You were around nine or ten years old by then. I couldn’t make ends meet, and I wasn’t too keen on trying. That’s how I ended up living on the street. I was like that for almost three years and I figured that was going to be my life. Then I met Henry and Savannah. I saw the hopelessness and shame on his face and the sadness on hers and…I don’t know…I can’t explain it, Jackson. I felt like I had to do something.”

“That doesn’t make it any easier. Didn’t you ever look at your own kids and feel like you had to do something?”

“I did. But then Pops would point out what a screwup I was and tell me how he was helping your mother with the bills and food and everything you boys needed. He talked about your coaches and teachers and all the people stepping up who were fantastic role models.” He paused. “Looking back, I know he didn’t mean it to push me away, but that’s how I took it. In his own way, he was trying to get me to step up and do the right thing.” He shrugged. “I’m nobody’s role model and I’m sorry for that. I should have tried harder. I shouldn’t have been so stubborn. I…I don’t even know what to say except I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry.”

Jackson swallowed hard as he nodded.

“Don’t take it out on Savannah, though. For years she had no clue about my life back here. And once she did?” He laughed softly. “You have no idea how much of a role she played in getting me to come back. But my stubbornness kept me away longer than it should have, and then I got sick.” Shrugging, he added, “And you know the rest.”

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