Page 86 of Sing it, Sam

Chapter Thirty-One

On Tuesday, the sandwiches and doughnuts are a hit. Wednesday, the pasta leaves us in a food coma. Somehow, regardless of how hard I’ve tried to create a happy, fun environment for Sam, with each passing day he seems to be withdrawing. It’s as if he’s slowly regressing to the surly, unpredictable Sam I first met. It makes it really hard to stay positive.

Sam is getting out of here. He’s recovering.

As I pack the van with supplies, I silently pray that our outing to the falls today will change that. It’s time to create some happy memories with Sam.

***

The van weaves through the windy country lanes towards Logan Falls. Even though I told him where we’re going, for the last half hour, Sam has stared out the window and barely made a peep. The two of us are generally okay with uncomfortable silences, but I find myself becoming less comfortable with them. It makes me think about what it is that Samisn’tsaying. He’s not that easy to read sometimes.

I purposely drive below the speed limit so he can appreciate the journey. It’s as if he’s taking in every tree and each falling leaf, watching for bumps in the road and scanning every house we go by.Is he looking for the house he grew up in?

I reach across and place my hand over his, which is resting on the edge of his black boardshorts. “If you want we could stop at the graveyard?” I pause, waiting for an answer.

Sam continues to stare through the tempered glass. My heart pounds harder.Why did I have to bring her up?

“Or anywhere else you want to while we’re over this way,” I add in a soft voice.

“S’okay, Janie. I don’t need to visit my mum’s grave. I still carry her here,” he says, and presses his hand to his heart. His words comfort me and have me falling that much harder for him. I know she died a long time ago, but it would’ve been beautiful to meet the person who helped make Sam the man he is today. From what Sam’s told me, he had a strong bond with her.

A short while later, we turn down Sheoak Lane, a makeshift dirt road created by the traffic of local fishermen, picnic-goers, and mad kayakers such as myself. I pull the car in between two trees at the end of the clearing and shut off the engine.

“We’re here,” I announce, and open the door and run around the front of the car, yanking open Sam’s door.

“Where’s here exactly?” he says as he takes off his seat belt.

“This is where I put my kayak in. It’s not far from where the falls flow into Willow Creek.”

Sam lets out a weary sigh. His eyes become fixed on the rough path through the trees. “How’s this gonna work, exactly? The path looks too rough for the walker.”

I form two fists, hook one against my waist, and straighten out the other arm and hold it above my head. “Never fear. Wonder Woman is here.”

He chuckles and shakes his head. “Yeah, I need to see the uniform. I’m not convinced.”

“I wear it on the inside. Come on. I’ll piggyback you.”

Sam tilts his head to the side. “Serious?”

“Deadly.”

He shifts his body in his seat. I turn around and back up to him, leaning forward to take his weight. It’s not like he’s going to weigh a tonne. Besides, it’s only about fifty metres, give or take. We’ll be fine.

“You getting on?” I bark, looking over my shoulder.

Sam’s eyes shoot up from their focus on my butt. Heat rushes to my face. “You’re checking out my rig, now?”

He chuckles and licks at his lower lip. “Hey, still a hot-blooded male, despite being a little slow. Anyways, don’t pretend like you didn’t want me to.” Desire pools in his eyes. Cheekily, he raises his brows up and down.

I run my tongue over my top teeth. His Adam’s apple bobs.Score, Jane.

“Tell you what. I’ll strut by the creek and you can gawk at it there, but please, can we just get there already?”

“Best offer I’ve had in years,” Sam says.

I roll my eyes and turn around once more, bending at the knees and tilting my back, ready to take the load. My hands are out to the side in readiness to grip his legs. I swear I can feel his eyes on my butt. And yes, I want him to look at me like a hot-blooded male. I want him to touch me, too. All of me.

Patience, Jane.