Page 28 of Sing it, Sam

Gross. “Oh, okay. I’ve only met her once I think. Her door is mostly shut.”

“That’d be to protect her pretties. She’s very private, keeps to herself, but unlike Sam, she does venture out of her room. Mainly to focus on new acquisitions though.”

I bite down on my lower lip, doing my best to stay professional. “I can go take a look around now if you like? Check Gloria’s room? I know how much Shirley loves to read.”

“That’d be great,” Kathleen says and grins. “You’re really getting to know everybody, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I’m trying, but there’s always something new to learn every day. Gloria, for example.”

Kathleen grips my shoulder. “Never dull, huh?”

“Definitely not.”

I excuse myself and make my way to the dining hall. Trying to be subtle while the residents are in the room, I search the tables, the unoccupied chairs, underneath the couch, and behind its cushions.Is there really a thief among us or has Shirley just misplaced them?

After five minutes, I’ve come up empty and decide to visit Gloria.

Seconds after I knock on the closed door, a slight woman with short fiery red hair pries it open, just enough for her beady green eyes to fill the void.

“Yes?” she says in a croaky voice, then coughs. The rattle in her chest tells me she probably smoked a pack a day for a good part of her life.Urgh.

“Hi, I’m Jane—”

“Yes,” she repeats before I get to tell her why I’m visiting.

“I’m doing the rounds. Just looking for a pair of reading glasses? You wouldn’t have happened to have seen them, by any chance?”Because I’d hate to come out and openly accuse you of lifting them.

The door creaks open farther, revealing a small woman in a floral moo-moo dress. She narrows her eyes at me, looking me up and down.

“Someone is having a lot of trouble seeing without them,” I add to try tug at her heartstrings.

“What do they look like?” she asks, turning and waddling over towards her bedside drawers.

I take a step farther into her room, which is like walking into a wall-to-wall trinket shop. Side tables and bookshelves are jam-packed with snow globes, ceramic animals, and bowls—anything and everything really. It’s fascinating. She must spend a lot of time cleaning in here, because everything is shiny and free of dust. Her collection must keep her busy.

“Well?” she asks expectantly.

I take my eyes off the ceramics and focus on the deep wrinkles which carve out her cheeks. “Um, sorry. Purple.”

“People shouldn’t leave ’em lying around,” she growls, her back to me as she pulls open the second drawer and starts rummaging around. She puts one set of false teeth on the top of the drawers, followed by another, and then a series of spectacles in various stages of decay.

Oh my god … are they her teeth or someone else’s? What does she do with the teeth that aren’t hers? Does she wear them? Is this some kind of weird fetish?

A little bit of vomit makes its way up the back of my throat. I gulp down and grimace.

Gloria takes out a navy pair of glasses with a gold chain looped over each arm, a black pair with white tape in the centre of the frame as if its holding the glasses together, and then a purple pair. “One of these?” she asks, her painted on brows raised.

I glance over her offerings and take the purple pair with fake shiny diamonds. These must be glasses in question. The remaining pairs don’t look like anything Sam would wear.

“I think these are a winner,” I say and smile. “Thank you so much.”

Gloria goes back to tinkering in her drawer. I take that as my cue to leave, walking backwards until I find the door. There is a hoarder amidst us—a taker of teeth.No pair of glasses or falsies are safe …

I return the glasses to their rightful owner, not naming names, of course, as I’d hate to cause a stir between the two ladies. Having solved that mystery, I return to work until lunchtime and then make my way back to Sam’s room.

We have a conversation to finish.

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