Page 48 of Sugarloaf Ridge Lies

Black and white pricks my vision.How much do I say? If I tell him everything, will it change what we have?

“There was an accident.” I swallow hard. “After Christmas, year before last.”

“Shit.”

“It was horrific. I was the only survivor.”

“Fuck.” Jerry shakes his head, his brows pulling tight.

“I lost her,” I choke out. “My mum. My rock.” A sob erupts from my mouth. “Nan and Pop too.”

Jerry hauls me into his arms and squeezes tight as if the action will both soothe and take away the pain. “Fuck, Liv. I’m so sorry.”

Tears dampen his shirt as I allow myself to feel this moment and the safety of his arms. Jerry’s the only one in town I’ve had the courage to tell. It may stay that way for a while.

“I can’t go into detail.” I wipe my wet cheeks and sit beside him. “I probably should’ve listened to my doctor. Gone to see a therapist to deal with the trauma. It might’ve made it easier to talk about it.”

Jerry sweeps his thumb across my jaw and rests his hand at the back of my neck. “We all deal with stuff in our own way. You need to be ready to face it, and shit takes time to get your head around.”

He says it as if he has experience. I hope for his sake his words of wisdom are from helping someone else through their issues.

I nod. “I have nightmares. It’s frightening how real they are. If I think about my family on any given day, that night my dreams turn, and then I’m back there. It’s why I find it hard to talk about them.”

“I hate that this happened to you, that you’re still hurtin’. I wish there was something I could do.”

He says it as if he’s unable to give anything, but the fact I’m comfortable sharing even a little of my past is huge.

“You’ve already done so much. I guess the only thing you can do is understand that there’ll be times when memories are triggered and my emotions will take a dive, but you’re already sensitive to that.”

“I am?”

“Yup. You don’t push.”

Jerry takes my hand and squeezes. “That might be a fluke, but I’ll take it.” He winks.

I’m so glad I took this step. “I want to get better at this. Sharing stuff. You make me want to do better.”

“Well, I’m here. Whenever you need.”

Sweat beads at my brow as saliva builds in my mouth. “Oh, God.”Am I going to be sick?

“Whoa. Are you okay?” Jerry asks.

Using his arm for leverage, I climb to my feet, scramble to the nearest bush, and throw up.

“Shit.” Jerry follows and rests his hand between my shoulder blades.

Acid burns in the back of my throat. I spit out the excess saliva. I can’t believe I’ve yacked in front of him.Way to make him fall for me. “I hope you weren’t attached to this bush.” I wipe the sleeve of my jumper across my mouth.Gross.

“I’ll get you some water.”

“Please.”

Hands on my knees, I take deep breaths in and out. The nausea fades.

Jerry hands me a water bottle. “God, I hope it wasn’t my cookin’.”

Somehow, I find the strength to laugh. “No, there’s been a bug going around the school. I was already feeling off this morning, so I’m sure it’s just that.”Or was it the rich food?

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