Page 46 of Sugarloaf Ridge Lies

“Then he must be blind.” Jerry shifts in his chair, angling his elbows on his knees. “You’ve never talked about him before.”

I shrug. “I don’t like to. He’s not a part of my life. We haven’t spoken in years. Since the divorce.”

“Sorry, that sucks.”

“The divorce was the best thing for my parents. They led separate lives. He treated her as if she didn’t exist until he needed her to play perfect housewife at one of his events.” I blow out a breath.

“So, something crazy happened today when I was out doin’ some runnin’ around for dinner.” Jerry licks his top lip. I don’t miss the change in subject and appreciate it.

“Oh yeah?”

“Pretty fuckin’ embarrassing, really.”

“Well, now youhaveto tell me.” I snuggle into his side.

“I got hit on in the General Store.”

The muscles in my jaw tick.

Jerry chuckles. “Don’t get jealous, sugar. Lemme get to the good part.”

I purse my lips.

“So, there I was, in the produce section, mindin’ my own business feeling some tomatoes and tryin’ to get some ripe ones for the stew. This woman comes up and strikes up a conversation. Seemed she was keen to find some ripe tomatoes too. She was dressed nice, in reasonable shape for her age.”

“How old are we talking?”

He smirks. “Once we got further into the conversation, she proudly told me she was fifty-seven. Nimble too. She asked how old I was and if I was into mature women.”

Laughter bubbles up my throat.

A hearty rumble comes from Jerry’s chest. “I don’t think she realised she was my eighth-grade science teacher. ’Course she looked a lot different then. She’s since divorced and is exploring her newfound sexual freedom. She was lookin’ for a new toyboy.”

Oh, my lord.

“So did you let her down gently?”

“I was the perfect gentleman. Told her I already had a Sugar Mumma I was faithful to.”

I place my hand on my chest. “Aww. How did that go down? That didn’t turn her on more?”

He chews the inside of his cheek. “It may not have been the best idea. I had to abandon my shopping basket after she followed me down the next two aisles, sprucing her abilities. Chilled with my Aunt Bernie atThe Songfor a bit then went back to claim my groceries.”

A belly laugh takes over me. “This is too good.”

“Surely you’ve had embarrassing shit happen with the opposite sex.”

I calm my giggles and think back to a time where I wanted the earth to swallow me whole and spit out my bones.

“It was a long time ago, but yeah. It was a blind date; I was like twenty-two. It was with a son of an associate from my dad’s firm, so really, it was destined for failure.” I laugh. “I can’t even remember his name, just his face. Anyway, we were at this nice Italian restaurant, white linen, fancy glassware. It was over the top. I mean, I like fine dining, don’t get me wrong, but I’d be happier going out for a burger.”

Jerry winks. “I’ll remember that.”

“So there we were, classy place, things on the menu I’d never tried before. I was nervous but did my best to make conversation.” I shake my head. “It was awkward from the start. No, scratch that. It was bad. He was pompous and entitled and so chauvinistic he made my blood boil. He wouldn’t even let me order my own meal becauseheknew what was good.”

“Sounds like a real catch.”

“Oh, don’t worry. He told me that too. Anyway, it got to the point where I couldn’t take anymore, so I excused myself and went to the ladies’ room. I sent a text to a girlfriend, asking her to ring me with an A-grade emergency to save me from the narrow-minded pig who didn’t think I was capable of ordering my own food.”

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