Page 116 of Sugarloaf Ridge Lies

She grips the vase and launches it at my feet. Glass shatters and skitters across the linoleum floor.

“Jesus,” I cry out and wipe at the water on the lower half of my jeans.

A tall woman in a white nurse’s uniform enters. “Okay, Joan.” She tightens her grey hair, fixed in a low ponytail, and scans the mess of wayward stems and strewn petals. “How about we go for a walk, and I’ll have someone clean this up.”

Nan stares daggers at her. “I’m not going anywhere. This is my place. Trespassers ain’t welcome.”

The nurse turns to me. “You should go,” she says and sucks in her cheeks.

“Penelope!” Nan cries. “Get my shotgun.”

Like a knife to my heart, my chest tightens as Nan glares as if I’m the enemy. As if I came in here to hurt her. She works her jaw, eyes flitting between us and the door. “Both of you can bugger off. My husband’ll be home any minute from the bakery. And trust me when I say Allan will have your guts for garters!”

I retreat. It’s a battle I won’t win.

Eyes on my feet, I leave the nursing home and fall in a heap in my car. I bang my head against the headrest.

Fuck me.

All I wanted to do was tell her how excited I am about the future with Liv, having a family of my own. I was desperate to see the look on her face when I tell her she’s going to be a great grandmother.

But I can’t do that. And it breaks me.

***

When I steer my Uteup to the house, Pirate is standing guard on the edge of the porch.My boy.

My phone beeps as I get out of the car. Pirate jumps all over me as I swipe the screen.

Finn: You good? Given any more thought to what we talked about last week?

In other words, do you know what you’re getting yourself into? Having second thoughts?

Jesus H. Christ. Am I that much of a worry? I’m a grown man for Christ’s sake. Doesn’t he have enough to worry about with Daynah?

I shove my phone in my pocket without replying.

I need to talk to Liv about my past, but I don’t need my brother hounding me about it. It was on the tip of my tongue the other day when we finally talked about her one-nighter. I wanted to tell her I was adopted; explain why I feel it’s important for the father to know the truth even though it’s guaranteed to complicate things. Being told a big part of my life that I can’t tell anyone I was abandoned at birth and that secrets must be kept, I shut my mouth.

With Liv at work, the house seems so empty. I pour myself three fingers of whisky into a chipped glass. As I sit at the table in the deafening silence, the alcohol burns through my veins and loosens my limbs. All I can see is Nan, broken glass, and smashed flowers.

I squeeze my fist until my knuckles turn white and slam it down on the table. Will I ever be able to tell Liv the truth? Will her one-night stand come back to bite us?

***

Half a bottle of whiskydeep, I trip over Pirate and my own feet to answer the knocking echoing from the front of the house.

When I swing open the door, Len is in full cop uniform, the deep orange of the sunset raging on the hills behind him. He holds a large white envelope to his chest. “Jerry,” he says with a nod.

If the past serves me well, this ain’t a friendly visit.

With a swallow, I tell myself to sober up. “Len.” I stand taller and step to the side. “Come on in.”

He sighs. “Thanks, mate, but I won’t. This is for you.”

I take the package, fold it in half, and shove it under my arm. “Wanna give it to me in a nutshell?”

“Bloke is pressing assault charges for the incident at the Royal Mail Hotel. You broke his nose pretty good. He had to have surgery, Jerry.”

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