Chapter Seventeen

Jerry

Islam down the glasson my dining table and cough as the whisky heats its way down my throat. It’s been three days since she said it was“for the best”we didn’t see each other anymore.

For three days I’ve been trying to make sense of her swift shift in behaviour. It’s all I can focus on. I know she’s been unwell, but it’s as if she tried to distance herself from me.

Did I come across as having too many issues? The first time I try to share about my childhood she backtracks. Or did I come on too strong setting up the camp for the night? Did she think I was presuming we’d have sex? It wasn’t presuming a god damn thing. She won’t even take my calls so I can explain.

Was it all too good to be true? Was I the only one that thought things were on the up and up? Was I alone in seeing a future?

She hasn’t responded to any of my texts, and I’ve given up trying to call. They just go to voicemail. I need to talk to her but won’t go so far as land on her doorstep.

I try her phone once more because I’m a sick prick and like to torture myself.You know she won’t answer.

True to her recent form, it goes to message bank so I leave a message.

“I’m sorry, Liv. God, where do I start? If you felt I was moving things too fast with the campfire, I’m truly sorry. That wasn’t my intention. I don’t want to rush this because we have something good goin’ on. Can you call me?”

I disconnect the call and stare at the half-empty bottle of whisky within my grasp.

A tone sounds out. My heart thrashes as a message comes through.

Thank fuck.

Liv: Just please respect my decision.

That’s it? She’s fully serious? She won’t even talk it out with me.

I reach for the bottle and don’t stop until it’s bone dry.

***

Hungover as fuck, eventhough I don’t want to be here, I go to the nursing home. Just because my life is falling down around me, Nan shouldn’t miss out on a visit.

She places her arms around me, her familiar musky perfume teasing at my nostrils. “How’ve you been, love?”

“Fine.”

She holds me at arm’s length and narrows her thin brows. “Fine, huh? Grunt, grunt, grunt. You don’t sound too fine to me. I was expecting you Monday. What happened?”

Liv dumped my arse, is what happened.

“Been dealing with some shit.”

She hums. “This have anything to do with that young teacher, does it? What’s her name?”

I scale my hand down my face. I shouldn’t have come here. “Liv.” I almost choke as her name leaves my lips.

“Last time you said things were going well. More dancing if I remember?”

“Yeah, well I mucked it up.”

She tilts her head. “How?”

“I dunno. One day, things were going along fine, and then...”She went cold as if, suddenly, she couldn’t see a future with us.She said she wasn’t ready for a relationship, so why did she even bother starting something? Or was it that shit got hard and she couldn’t deal?

“Did you treat her with respect?”