Page 36 of Make Me Whole (Oil Barrons 1)

“And I’ll be honest.Yes, I feel like shit, and I don’t know what to think because you’re my best friend’s wife.I can’t imagine what you’re feeling like and that piles on the shit even more.Because the one thing I never, ever, want to do is hurt you, Kenny.You’re just too important.”

I ripped my gaze away.If I was going to get rejected, I’d have to hear it.I didn’t have to see it too.Eli was dumping sand in Owen’s hair.I should tell him to stop—the women across the playground were looking at us like I should tell him to stop—but it was early in the day.It wasn’t like Owen was going to stay clean until his bath tonight.Might as well get dirty now.

“I talked to him,” she said quietly.

I clenched my jaw.I had known that was where she was going as soon as she’d left my house.Running to Derek didn’t bother me.It brought her comfort and helped ease her transition to living without him.That I was the reason for her visit and any tears ripped me apart inside.

“I told him everything.”She twisted her hands together.“I don’t even remember what I said.I probably looked like a rabid mess, sobbing in the wet grass, spilling out random confessions.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not.”

I whipped my head around to look at her.

This time she couldn’t meet my gaze.“I crossed the just-a-friend point somewhere too.I think it was before you asked Laney out.Thatbotheredme.”

“Jesus, Kenny, if I’d known I wouldn’t have—”

“No.”She shook her head.“I think we would’ve both kept denying it.”Her hands kept twisting.“Here’s the thing though.I feel like crap.Like it was wrong.Like I’m a bad person.But once those initial feelings died down… I wanted to do it again.And that’s fucked up.”

“No.It’s not.”What was fucked up was hearing that she wanted to do it again, when she’d just told me how shitty she felt.She shouldn’t have to be in that position.

“It is.And after spending hours lurking in Sexy, Young, and Widowed, I realized it’s my world.This is my new normal.I’m going to want to be close to someone again, and it’s going to feel shitty, and it’s going to make me think things very few people can understand.”When she met my gaze, her eyes were watery.“But I know that if you want to do it again, so do I.I really like you, Liam.Ireallylike you.”

Hearing that from another woman might mean a blush or a coy glance.I’d be thrilled or nervous.Kenny was near tears.The confession had taken a lot for her, yet she’d said it.For me.To keep from making this harder for her and adding more pressure, I simplified my feelings.“I really like you too.”

We sounded like two school kids confessing their crushes, but the subject underlying our words was anything but elementary.It was heavy.It was hard.It was ugly.But if I were going to stick with Kenny through this—and I wanted to—it was us.

Her hand twitched like she was going to reach over and squeeze mine.I almost made the move for her.The urge to touch her somehow, some way, was strong, but we were in public, and the boys had switched to the rocking toys closest to us.Eli was on a rhino and Owen’s was a lion.

“So now what?”I asked.The ball was in her court, where it would always be.I just hoped to be in the same game with her.

“I’d like to keep doing what we’re doing.I’ll take Eli to his appointments.Bring Owen along and give Grandma Gin a break.”

I nodded.It wasn’t exactly dating or walking hand in hand, but I wouldn’t lose her in my life.“Thank you.”I hated having to be gone again for so long.The need for money paled when my presence at home would help in times like these.

“And…whatever we do, I’d like to keep it between us.”

“I understand.”I wasn’t lying.A girl like Kenny would make me want to puff out my chest and show her off.This classy lady wanted me.Yet, I knew the shit she took for being my friend.If the people closest to her learned of my more-than-a-friend role in her life, she’d take the heat when she was still healing.

“I mean Grandma Gin.My mom and sister.Everyone,” she tacked on softly.

“I won’t tell anyone.”It’d be hard not to tell Grandma Gin.She’d be the only one I’d care to talk to, but this was new.A new level of emotion.New territory for me and Kenny.So, yeah.I’d keep my mouth shut.I brushed the backs of my fingers along her shoulder.Quick and discreet.“And, Kenny, we’ll take it as slow as you need.”

Her smile was small, but I counted it as a win.Her gaze darkened and swept over me, from my cap down my face, my torso, to the tips of my boots.“You’re really sexy.”

I think I blushed for the first time in my life.

I wasn’t the only one.Pink dusted her cheeks.“I’ve always thought you were good-looking, but I can’t help but notice it a lot lately.I thought I’d start by seeing if I was brave enough to tell you that.”

She worried the corner of her lip.Anxiety or mortification?The Kenny I knew in high school wouldn’t have been so bold.Derek had made all the moves.He’d told me things, but not everything.Enough to know that Kenny had been shy and inexperienced.She’d made him wait until she was close to her own high school graduation.And he’d gladly done it.

I hadn’t lied to her.I felt like shit for what had happened between us, but once she’d admitted she had wanted it, my attitude immeasurably improved.This thing with Kenny wasn’t superficial.I wasn’t playing around when it came to her.

“I’ve been noticing you a lot more lately too.”I leaned to the side.“Especially your ass.”

“Liam.”She peered at me.“Seriously?”

---