Page 20 of Lost (Powertools: The Shields 2)

“That too.” Marcus didn’t bother denying it, though it was only one of many things he found irresistibly attractive about her.

“You ever made a move on her?” Knox asked with a wicked tip to one side of his mouth.

“Kissed her last night.” Marcus couldn’t resist a tiny jab. He was still a guy, after all.

“But did you fuck her?” Knox was pushing his luck now.

“Don’t make me give you a matching black eye,” Marcus growled.

“I’m taking that as a no. Noted.” Knox full-on grinned.

“That’s your fault, asshole. You broke her so bad she doesn’t let anyone else in.” Marcus groaned.

“I didn’t ask about her heart. I asked if you slept with her.” Knox scrubbed a hand over his face. “Anyway, don’t worry. I never had before yesterday either. And I wouldn’t say that was a stellar performance.”

They both knew Knox hadn’t even come though he’d gotten Kennedy off more than once.

Knox sobered then. “Of course, I’d pretty much sworn off sex myself since I seem to ruin the lives of everyone around me. And to answer your question, what happened… I guess I got pretty good at doing whatever the Vipers needed done in exchange for drugs and a shithole to exist in while high. They kept giving me more elaborate jobs and bigger payoffs. Eventually I got hooked up with a guy named Riggs, the nephew of Vex, who’s the head of the gang. We, uh, were more than friends. Lovers. But when I scored some of this hardcore hybrid shit as payment for one of my errands, he didn’t believe the rumors about how strong it was. Both of us thought we could handle it.”

Marcus clenched his hands on the tile bench he was sitting on as if it could prevent what he knew was coming. Poor bastard. “He OD’d?”

“We both did.” Knox stared right at Marcus then, with the most haunted gaze he’d ever seen. “But for some reason, they were able to bring me back. Not him.”

“Fuck,” Marcus hissed. “I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t know. It might have been a lot easier to go out on a high like that. I’m sure he didn’t feel any pain.” Knox threw one arm over his face as if too embarrassed or ashamed to meet Marcus’s horrified stare.

It was then Marcus realized precisely how lost Knox was and how desperately he might need a bright light like Kennedy to help him find his way back to a life filled with something other than backstabbing, misery, and suffering.

“Is that why you tried to commit suicide by informing?” Marcus asked quietly.

“Maybe.” Knox shrugged one shoulder, the one farthest from his injury, which seemed even more terrifying now that Marcus realized how little Knox cared for himself. No wonder he’d been willing to fling himself in front of the Viper for Kennedy. “Or maybe I wanted a shot at doing one good thing before I’m used up.”

“Well, you definitely have the opportunity to do that now, by helping us shut them down.” Marcus believed now that Knox might be the key Jordan had thought he would be all along.

Knox nodded.

Marcus cleared his throat. There was only one more thing he really wanted to ask. “Did Kennedy ever find out you’re bisexual?”

Marcus couldn’t help prying. Because as far as he knew, she’d had no clue that he was sometimes attracted to men too, even if he’d never found one he’d wanted to act on those impulses with before.

“Nope.” Knox frowned. “Hell, I didn’t fully admit it to myself until Riggs swallowed my cock for the first time. Even then I played it off as something I only did when I was high and not thinking straight for a lot longer than I should have. I wonder if I’d acknowledged what we really had, if Riggs wouldn’t have been so eager to avoid his own struggles by taking so much shit that night.”

“You should definitely take Jordan up on counseling sessions.” Marcus tried to be gentle when he suggested it.

“I’m not sure there’s enough time left in any of our lives to hash out all my issues, but hey, what the fuck. Trying new things. Why not?” Knox pinched the bridge of his nose and then winced as he mashed the bruise there.

“Sorry about that black eye.” Marcus felt a smidge bad about it now.

“I deserved it. That and a million more.” Knox did climb from the spa then, wrapping a towel around his waist with two flicks of his wrists.

“For the record, you don’t need to worry around the Shields.” Marcus got out too, fully aware of Knox’s gaze glued to his crotch as he toweled off. “Whether you’re bi, poly, straight, ace, whatever, we’ve pretty much seen and embraced it all within our group.”

“Seriously? Some of those guys didn’t seem like they’d be the tolerant type.” Knox shot Marcus some side-eye.

“Well, considering Jordan has both a husband and a wife, and Nolan’s got a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and Ransom and Levi are partners outside of the office plus go home to the same wife, and James…jeez. He’s got a husband, a wife, and six other best friends, whom he hooks up with, and will be more than happy to explicitly detail those encounters for you, unintentionally rubbing in the fact that you don’t even have a single lover…. Yeah.”

“Are you shitting me right now?” Knox seemed skeptical.

---