Walker had chosen Dane over her.Or maybe he’d simply needed to flee for his own sanity.More likely, though, he’d been compelled to protect his best friend and see him through that dark time.
In any case, that had been the first time she’d lost them.
Joy would never forget Dane’s parting words to her that day.She’d told him, “Stay safe and come home soon.”
To which he’d replied, “I hope I don’t come back at all.”
The desolation in his eyes had hurt her more than the physical damage Clive had inflicted.Because she realized then that Wildfire’s sergeant-at-arms had destroyed more than her innocence that night.She’d lost everything she cared about.
Except years later, unexpectedly, theyhadcome back.Briefly.
After hanging out in the cabin she’d given birth to Arden in for a few months, they’d given in to Angus’s cajoling and returned home.They’d only stayed long enough to realize they didn’t belong there any more than she did.And to get her pregnant before moving on.She was still too upset about that to ask why they hadn’t at least taken her with them when they went.
Joy cleared her throat then, shaking all three of them from whatever memories they were each reliving.For her daughter, she would swallow her pride and beg if she had to.
“Guys, I’ve never asked you for anything.But I’m asking now.If Clive or Angus shows up, they can have me.I’ll go back if it shuts them up and helps Angus save face among his associates, and his rivals, but…Arden… She needs to be free.Promise me you’ll protect her, raise her to be her own woman, and let her flourish as she should.”Joy broke loose of Dane’s hold.Instead, she hugged herself, hoping to keep her roiling guts inside her body when even the possibility of being separated from her daughter made her feel as if she’d been eviscerated.
“I swear to you, Joy.”Walker didn’t hesitate.“I will keep your daughter safe.No matter what.I will not fail her.”
He didn’t say it, but she knew what he meant.He wouldn’t let her down like he assumed he’d done to her.Walker took a step closer and then another, until they were definitely in each other’s personal space.He smelled amazing, like the crisp forest night air.The heat radiating from him tempted her to bury her face against his powerful chest.
If they weren’t careful, the chemistry they’d always shared would lead to more poor decisions.
Overwhelmed and confused, Joy wondered if she was doing the right thing.Did this seem like the best decision because it was or because being near them and becoming a family was everything she’d always desired?
It was her biggest fear—that she would turn out to be selfish, like her own mother had been.No, Joy swore to put Arden’s needs ahead of her own.Today and every day for the rest of her life.
She laid her hands on Walker’s chest and shoved until they broke a few steps apart.
If she licked her lips as she imagined what it would have been like to taste him again, no one could blame her, could they?
Dane groaned and spun away to stare out the window for a moment.The rapid rise and fall of his shoulders promised he wasn’t unaffected either.
Joy scrubbed her eyes, then shoved her messy feelings down deep.She’d gotten good at compartmentalizing in order to keep going.Someday, that would probably come back to bite her in the ass, but for now it worked.
“It’s time for Arden to eat.”Joy changed the subject as she opened the fridge and took out one of the bottles she’d prepped during the middle of the night.“I’ll take her, Dane.”
He turned, a wince slashing across his face as if he didn’t want to relinquish the baby just yet.
Joy knew how he felt.It calmed her to know that he was already under her daughter’s spell.
“Teach me how to feed her?”he asked, making her heart do flip-flops in her chest.
It was simply about survival, she lied to herself.If something happened to her or if Angus found some twisted way to lure her back to his empire, the guys needed to know how to care for Arden.
Every instinct in her objected to the thought of leaving her child behind.But she would do whatever was best for Arden in the grand scheme of things.Even if that meant giving her to Walker and Dane to raise.
Arden looked even tinier than usual in Dane’s strong yet tender grasp.
First she showed him how to heat the bottle in a warm water bath.Then she uncapped it and handed it to him, telling him everything he needed to know to provide nourishment for the baby.She even told him about the formula she had as a backup.In case she couldn’t, or wasn’t there, to provide sustenance for their child.
It felt good to be confident about what to do.To realize that she’d taught herself how to care for a whole new person.And when Dane did the same, he looked up at her with so much satisfaction and pride in his eyes, she knew he would make a perfect father.Even Walker took a half step closer, paying close attention to her instructions.With two dads like them, Arden might not need a mother.
She might not need Joy.
Especially with the support of the other wonderful people that seemed to congregate at the Hot Rides garage.
Joy accepted the truth.She might never have everything she desired from Walker and Dane, but she needed them because her daughter needed them.And she would do anything for Arden, even if it meant remaining so close to everything she’d ever desired without the possibility of actually attaining it.
“Okay.You guys win.”She nodded.“I’ll stay.”
She just hoped she was doing it for the right reasons.
Theonlyacceptable reason, that was.For Arden, and not for the parts of herself that would always be infatuated with both Dane and Walker.
“Good.Whatever happens, we’re in this together,” Walker assured her.
For now, she thought.For now.
Except this time it might be her who bailed when things got too difficult to bear.