Page 5 of Slow Ride

It was primal.Raw.Ungraceful.Everything they were on their own, without Johnny’s suave influence or his finesse.

Wren met him thrust for thrust, rocking upward to absorb his frantic fucking.She growled and bit his shoulder, as if that would be enough to stake her claim on him and hold them together when they were so close to flying apart.

Jordan tried to show her his wrecked heart with every lunge.He balled his fists in the sheets on either side of her and unleashed all of his pent-up agony, fear, and disappointment.

She took it and turned it into something beautiful, moaning as he impaled her.

Somehow, she transformed his grief into bliss, if only temporarily.Her eyes flew open and she stared deep into his as she lost control.She surrendered to the relentless pistoning of his cock and the smack of his flesh against her clit.

Wren came, wringing his dick with every contraction of her muscles.

She clawed his back as she did her best to hold him to her.

He reveled in every scratch that reminded him he was still there.Still alive.

And when she rose up and latched onto his mouth, feeding him a series of moans, he joined her.Jordan spilled deep within her, his ass clenching in time to the spasms that launched his come from his balls.

It was a release, yes.An epic one, even.But it wasn’t the same.

Johnny wasn’t there to appreciate their show or to take Jordan’s place while he recovered enough to have another go at bringing Wren rapture.They were reduced to being ordinary.

It wasn’t what they’d had before.

Jordan had lost more than his best friend that day, even if Johnny hadn’t known how he’d felt.

Wren opened her eyes and the sadness in them hadn’t vanished.In fact, it seemed to have amplified.“How can he be gone?Is he, really?”

Just like that, reality came crashing in.Jordan nodded, unable to let her believe even for an instant that they were going to get that part of their souls back.Johnny was dead.Only his ghost would ever join them in this bed, and in their relationship, again.

No matter how desperately Jordan wished it could be different, he was never going to have the opportunity to come clean with his partner.Or become more than the other guy’s friend and co-worker.

Wren reached up and touched his cheek lightly, caressing him with the pad of her thumb as ifshewas trying to comforthim.How much had those piercing eyes of hers seen?Everything, her touch told him.

“You knew?”Jordan asked on a wheeze.

“That you were in love with Johnny?”She smiled faintly around a stifled yawn.The past week had obviously exhausted her.“Of course.I thought there was time…that we’d work things out.”

Except there hadn’t been and they wouldn’t.

Jordan should hate himself for what they’d just done.He hadn’t meant to give in, but clearly he had no willpower when he was near Wren.He already despised himself so much, what was one more sin on the pile?

Besides, the single orgasm he’d given her had seemed to settle her.

When he slipped from her body, they both sighed.He reached over to the night table and took the brush there.As gently as he could, he began combing her hair, untangling the mess it had become at least partly because of him.If only he could fix the rest of their relationship as easily, he would gladly do it.

There was no hope for that except to cut it off.

Wren must have felt it too, deep down.She was dozing off, clutching him to her so tightly he couldn’t slink away or pack his shit or do any of the other things he should.So, instead, he lay there next to her and watched her sleep for most of the night.

Only when the first glimmer of dawn began to turn the sky from ink to the deep blue of the lake on a stormy day did he shake himself.What was he doing?Making things more difficult, that’s what.He had to go before he forgot to do what was right.He had to make a clean break and let Wren go, free to find what happiness she could after this.

He gently unwound her limbs from his body.Even in sleep, she’d wrapped around him as if that could keep him by her side when they both knew love wasn’t strong enough for that.

Jordan rolled from the bed and stood.

“Where are you going?”Wren mumbled groggily, and reached out.If her fingers so much as grazed his, he wouldn’t be able to do what he had to.For both their sakes.

He might not have died, but he’d been irreparably damaged.

It wouldn’t ever be possible for him to be so reckless and uninhibited with his heart now that he knew how bad it hurt to lose a part of it.

“To the store…” He was a coward.So much so that he couldn’t tell her the truth and listen to her fight for something they’d already lost.“Go back to bed, Wren.Have sweet dreams of how things used to be.”

She looked up at him, blinking sleepily in the darkness.He thought she saw a flicker of resignation in her azure eyes.Did she know this was goodbye for good?

“Just remember, I love you.Always will.”

He couldn’t say it back.Because it wouldn’t be fair and he wasn’t sure he even had a heart anymore.It had been ripped out the day Johnny had died.Instead, he lifted her hand, kissed her knuckles, grabbed his clothes off the floor, then turned and locked the door before he walked out.

He refused to look back in case he caved again and ran to her.

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