Making a difference in people’s lives, helping relieve the anguish of thousands of people… Well, she’d seen how both of her parents had suffered through long illnesses before finally succumbing. It was the best thing she could think to do with her life to try to prevent others from going through the same thing.
If she got really lucky, maybe some of her involvement in trials would lead to cures.
People like her wouldn’t be so alone if their loved ones could be saved.
Any personal discomfort she might sustain had nothing on the upside. She had to do this.
Reed separated them and smiled at her. “You’re going to make a difference. I’m just a selfish bastard, that’s all.”
She bit her lip and nodded once, because part of her was just as egocentric and pissed at what she had to forgo. Hard decisions, but ones she’d already made. And she wouldn’t change her mind.
He wandered away from her then rested against the wall, closing his eyes to gather his thoughts or maybe just to keep her from scrutinizing those glorious eyes of his, which told her so much he never would say out loud. “Do you mind if we stay in today, Andi?”
“Not at all. Honestly, I’m still kind of recuperating from yesterday’s jungle adventure.” She stretched as she admitted it.
“I told Simon to be careful with you.” His brows drew together, making his eyes turn as stormy as the afternoon had been the day before.
“He was.” She wondered how much she should share. “It was my fault. I got kind of carried away.”
“In that case…good. I don’t feel like sharing you with the rest of the world yet.” He stared out the window with his hands clasped behind his back. “Not until I have to.”
“That’s kind of ironic, isn’t it?” She swallowed hard. “Unless you’ve changed your mind about our arrangement?”
Reed turned slowly to face her. He tipped his head to the side a bit. His stillness had never made her nervous before, but maybe his intensity had never been quite so focused on her. “Simon and Cooper aren’t the rest of the world, they’re part of mine. And we have you to thank for that. I never would have fallen into this kind of arrangement otherwise. It was you…and the damn frittata girl. I thought it would be enough to close my eyes and imagine she was you. Then I realized how much more there was to sex when I was sharing someone with those two. Bringing her three times the pleasure. It was incredible. Blew my mind. Then there was no going back.”
She nodded weakly, twisting the hem of her shirt between her fingers.
“Are you changing your mind? It’s okay if this is too much. I understand.” Reed seemed resigned, as if he’d expected exactly that all along.
Andi couldn’t deny that she was struggling this morning. She figured if she had any chance of surviving until graduation…and beyond…she had to be as honest as possible with him, despite the fact that she knew he wouldn’t like what she had to say.
“That’s just it—I’m not. I want this, Reed, even though I’m not sure it’s best for you. I mean, I feel pretty slutty needing you as much as I do, considering that I’ve fucked both of your best friends in the past forty-eight hours.” She couldn’t meet his stare when she asked, “Are you sure that’s not a problem for you?”
“What’s not fucking okay with me is you demeaning yourself. Don’t make me put you over my knee for saying shit like that.” He would do it too, she didn’t doubt it.
The purr that escaped was probably not the kind of encouragement she should have given him.
Reed strode to her and took hold of her shoulders. “I’m going to show you exactly how much it turns me on knowing that you’ve opened yourself to them. Finally learned to take. And then I’m going to let you see what it’s like when I do the same for myself. Because once I let go of all this shit I’ve been keeping in check, it’s not going to be…civilized.”
Unlike Cooper, he wasn’t gentle. Unlike Simon, he wasn’t playful.
No, being with Reed was serious business.
Andi knew why he’d come to her last. He was capable of a whole new level of passion that he’d had the others build her up to. She hoped she was as ready as she was eager.
He wasn’t the kind of guy to hedge his bets or take the long way around. “Be sure you’re up for that.”
“I am.”
Reed was direct, and he was coming for her.
She couldn’t wait to be caught.