Page 94 of Stay Baby Stay

Chapter Thirty-three

Holly

Kenzie and I sit on opposite ends of a couch in the common area of a hotel suite. We’re supposed to be watching a movie, but in my mind, all I can see is the dead man on the floor in Austin’s kitchen, and Cal’s body covered in blood.

Every loud bang from the television speakers is the echo of the gunshot that woke me.

Cal’s been gone since very early this morning. I know he’s probably at the station, and that the bad guy is still dead, but I can’t help worrying.

Kenzie says it’s normal to worry about the person you love. I’ve never been in love before, but I know it’s not supposed to be this harrowing. There’s nothing I want more than to be with Cal, but after everything that’s happened, I can’t pretend not to know myself. The last five days have been a dream come true and my worst nightmare, all rolled into one.

A knock sounds on the door before it opens. I jump off the couch like a puppy as Cal enters the room.

“Hey,” I say. “I didn’t think you’d be back so soon.”

“Thought I’d finally use a few of those vacation hours my boss keeps going on about.” He places a kiss on my forehead and says hello to Kenzie. “Can we talk, sweetheart?”

Anxiety turns my stomach. I get the feeling everything’s about to change again.

“Um...sure.” I give him my hand and let him lead me into one of the bedrooms. He asks me to sit on the bed as he closes the door.

“How’re you doing?” he asks.

“Fine, all things considered.” I shift nervously. I know I need to talk to him about my feelings, but I’m afraid of what it’s going to mean for us.

He sits down beside me and wraps his arm around my shoulders. “It’s all right if you’re not fine. I know last night was...intense.”

I stare at my hands in my lap. “I guess I’m still processing it all.”

Cal rests his head against mine. I struggle against the urge to lean into his body. If I let him soothe me now, I don’t know if I’ll be able to say the things I need to say. I’ll be too caught up in his presence, in his hunger, our love for each other.

“Cal, I need to say something.”

“So do I.” He leans back to look at me. “You first.”

I take a steadying breath. “I can’t do this. I love you, but I can’t live every day in fear that you’re going to go off to work and never come home.”

He nods like he was expecting this conversation.

“I understand,” he says soberly. “And I can’t say as I blame you, which is why I didn’t just take the night off.”

“You didn’t?”

He shakes his head. “I asked for three weeks. I’m gonna take you someplace nice. Somewhere comfortable, where you can relax in a pool with a virgin drink.”

The thought of lying on a floatie with a daquiri makes me giggle. Still... “What about Kenzie?”

“She can come, too,” he says. “And when we get back, I’ll be transferring to the cybersecurity division.”

“What?” I sit up straighter. “Why would you do that?”

He runs his knuckles down my cheek. “Because you deserve to know that your daddy’s gonna come home safe every night.”

“But you love your job. You’re good at it.”

“I love you more, Holly.”

My breath catches. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to hearing him say it, and frankly, I don’t want to.

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