Page 72 of Stay Baby Stay

“I don’t know. It was old. Maybe a bible? It had a worn leather cover. That’s when he started talking to me. I was in a lot of pain so I didn’t catch most of it, but what I did sounded crazy.”

“Can you recall anything he said to you, however strange?”

“He said something about purifying my body. That my soul was diseased and he was going to cleanse me.”

Kenzie rubs her eyes. I can’t even begin to fathom how painful it must be to have to recall something so fucked up. I rest my hand on her shoulder. She flinches like I’ve just shocked her. I pull my hand away.

“Sorry,” she says. “I’m just... I need a minute.”

She gets up and hobbles into the bathroom, closes the door, and runs the tap. I stare at the door as a chasm of hurt and sadness opens up inside me. Cal moves to sit with me on the couch.

“It’s not you, sweetheart,” he says. “She’s been through a lot.”

“Cal’s right,” Mary says. “Don’t take it personally. It’s going to be a while before she feels safe again.”

I nod in understanding. I know Kenzie didn’t mean to hurt my feelings, and my pain is nothing compared to what she’s been through. But I guess part of me had been naively hoping that everything would be okay once I found her. Yes, she’s safe, but I don’t feel like she’s really here. Not all of her. Not the bright, shining parts of her.

She returns from the bathroom. Cal moves back to the coffee table so Kenzie can take her seat on the couch.

“Whenever you’re ready,” he says.

Her shoulders rise and fall as she takes a breath.

“He started hitting me again,” she says. “All over. Everywhere but my face. It was like he was intentionally avoiding hitting my face. I screamed and cried, begging him to stop. He said I was corrupted, that he was beating the evil out of me.”

Her fingers curl in her lap. She picks up her teacup but doesn’t drink.

“I held onto my necklace, and tried to stay on my back, so he wouldn’t hurt my hands because I knew I needed them to cut the rope, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to...” She pinches her eyes shut. “After he stopped hitting me, he went outside, and I went back to sawing at the rope. The necklace was starting to bend from being held so tightly, and I was worried it was going to snap, but it didn’t. The rope snapped.

“I pretended my hands were still tied when he came back with what looked like a bucket of soapy water and a rag. When he kneeled down to wrap his hands around my throat, I headbutted him. Then I started punching. Just crazy, wild, punching until he rolled over. And then I ran. I ran for the door and was barely outside the barn when he grabbed me. I knew that was it. He was going to kill me if I didn’t get away, so I just kicked and slapped and punched until he stumbled back.”

She cups the back of her head.

“And then I pushed him,” she says, “and his head slammed against the side of the barn and he fell. I ran into the woods and just kept running. I didn’t have any shoes on, but I could hardly feel my feet hitting the ground. I just kept going, through the woods, wheezing through the pain, I just...kept going and going. I must’ve run all night.”

“When did you eventually stop?” Cal asks.

“Before sunrise, I crossed some hayfields and followed the road into a town.”

“You remember the name of the town?”

“Baileyton, I think. I broke into a Dollar General and stole some clothes to put on over my own, and shoes.”

“Same clothes you’re wearing now?” Cal asks, gesturing to her dirty sweats. She nods. “How’d you get back to Knoxville?”

“I walked,” she says. “I avoided the main roads, so it took a long time. Like two full days of just walking. I had to stop and take naps, drink water from people’s hoses. Eventually, I made it back to the motel and found it completely trashed. I figured the guy must’ve been here looking for me, and he knew where we lived... I was afraid he’d found Holly.”

She blinks, sending tears streaming down her ruddy cheeks. I rest my hand on the couch between us, hoping she’ll take it.

“I decided to hide out at the mall because I figured it’s the last place anyone would think to look for me,” she says. “Except you, Hollywood.”

Finally, she takes my hand. Our gazes meet, and though the pilot light’s gone out behind her eyes, I can still make out a faint flicker of the Kenzie who loves me.

“You took a serious beating,” Cal says. “Does it hurt to breathe?”

She nods. “A little.”

“You might have a broken rib, or three.” He scribbles a note on his pad, then flips to a fresh page. “Did the man who solicited your affection use a condom?”

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