Page 81 of Stay Baby Stay

He cradles my face, turning my head so he can kiss the corner of my lips. I want to tell him I love him, that I’ll always love him. But what if I say the words and he doesn’t say them back?

Cal’s been married and divorced. He lived a whole life before he met me. If I tell him I love him after knowing him less than a week, he’s going to think I’m immature. Impulsive. Childish, in a bad way.

No. I’ll keep the depth of my feelings a secret for now, and allow myself to dream of a future together. Free of fear and insecurity. Where there’s always food in the fridge and a warm bed to sleep in.

And a big, strong, loving daddy to hold me in his arms when I’m overwhelmed.

Chapter Twenty-nine

Caleb

The call comes in just before noon. A judge issued a warrant for us to search the Davis’ farm, and now I’ve got exactly twenty minutes to get dressed and get out the door.

“If all goes well, I might not be back till late tonight,” I tell Austin, taking the mug of black coffee he offers. “I’ll try to stay in touch.”

“Don’t worry,” he says. “I’ll hold down the fort. I won’t let anything happen to your Holly.”

I shoot him a look.

“Don’t fuck around, Mr. Stone-cold Detective. It’s obvious to anyone with eyes that you love that girl.”

I open my mouth to tell him off when I hear a creak on the old farmhouse’s stairs. McKenzie steps into the kitchen, looking like a shell of the girl I saw at King’s party last weekend.

“Are you going out to the barn where it happened?” McKenzie asks.

“I am,” I tell her.

She clasps her hands in front of her. “I want to go with you.”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“But I can show you were it all went down.”

“You’ve already told us everything we need to know.” I risk placing a tentative hand on her shoulder. She flinches. I immediately pull away. She takes a breath, and meets my gaze.

“I need to see it in the daylight,” she says. “If I did miss something, being there might jog my memory.”

“I admire your spirit,” I tell her, “But you’re not up for this. Going to the crime scene will only set you back.”

Austin folds his arms across his chest. “I don’t know, man. Maybe it’s a good idea.”

“If Kenzie’s going,” Holly says from behind me, “then so am I.”

“Did y’all plan this?” I glance over my shoulder to where Holly’s standing in the doorway, holding her kitten. “Listen, I can’t do my job if I’m worrying about keeping you both safe.”

“I’ll look after ‘em,” Austin says. “I’ll follow you in my truck. They can hang out with me until you clear the scene.”

Both Holly and McKenzie regard me with the same determined expression. I don’t deny that these girls have managed to accomplish what had otherwise seemed impossible: outwitting and outrunning the serial killer who’s been stalking their peers for years now. They’re a force to be reckoned with, no doubt about it. But bringing McKenzie back to the scene of the crime feels a lot like pressing her fragile luck.

I scrub my face in frustration. “It’s not safe.”

“What is safe?” Holly asks. “If you miss important evidence and Hoyt goes free, how is that keeping anyone safe?”

McKenzie stands up straighter. She’s not the girl from the party, but sheislooking better than she did this morning. And she’s talking a fair amount more. Still, that doesn’t mean she’s ready to go back to the place where her entire world imploded.

“I want to help,” she says. “Ineedto help.”

My mind flashes back to a conversation I had two mornings ago in my kitchen with Holly—and who could forget how that turned out. My little girl pads up to me, placing both hands on my chest.