Page 31 of The Knotty Girls Club

“Kinsey?” A warm hand touches my knee, rubbing smooth circles. “Kinsey? Hey, I’m here. You don’t need to be afraid. I won’t let anything happen to you. I swear on my life.”

Wilder’s voice hums softly, breathily. He’s cautious as if the tone of his voice could send me over the edge. And it might. I had no idea how hard it would be to see the place that I called home. The place that was ripped out from under me all because of my omega order. It’s as if I relive the trauma my uncle caused me all over again despite things being different. No one hurt me in the Gutter District per se, but Madame Tamsin destroyed my resolve. It might not be the same place, but the baggage I have left behind scatters across the dirty streets. It stirs memories I like to keep locked up.

“Hey, look at me real quick,” Wilder says, reaching out to touch my chin. I hadn’t realized that he pulled over into a parking spot in front of an old store with barred windows, a half-lit sign, and loitering warnings. There’s no one around either. It’s not unusual for neighborhoods in the Gutter District to lack life. Some places are just not worth being invested in, and obviously, this old strip mall is one of them.

I let Wilder turn my head, his fingers light yet attentive, coaxing me into moving when my body refuses to do so on its own. I meet his pale blue eyes, the beautiful depths shining with the sunlight coming in through the windshield. He smooths his thumbs over my cheeks, rubbing gently as he kneads my skin, working his way to my temples, before he combs his fingers through my hair, easing my head toward his. He closes the space, only leaving a millimeter of air between our mouths, but he doesn’t kiss me. He rests his forehead to mine, blurring the world around us until it’s only him I see. It helps take my focus off everything. When I look into his sky eyes, all I can think about is how much my existence has changed. He’s a dick, but he brought me into his household. He relented to his brothers’ desire to allow me to stay. He even went so far as to allow me near Holly. While I still don’t know his sister well enough, it’s obvious that she is one of the most important people in the world to him. It’s why he acts as he does, and I understand. I truly do, and I hope that Holly realizes just how lucky she is. I wish my pack had been like this. My parents would still be alive. I’d...no. I refuse to think about what I’ve lost before it was even mine.

“Take a breath. I want you to listen to me.” Wilder breathes slowly, inhaling and pausing and then exhaling. He waits for me to join him, and I manage to shut my mind off. It’s easy to distract myself with his overpowering scent. He massages all the places necessary to let me into his world, marking me in a way that claims me as his even if I’m not. I don’t know if it’s intentional because of where we are or if it’s because of the need he’s been resisting. Regardless, it helps me relax. It settles my wild emotions, getting them in control.

“Good girl. You’re safe with me. I understand it’s hard to believe, but I will prove it. Trust is important to me, too. I know that you don’t want to be here, and I get that you hate me, but I need you to know that I wasn’t lying when I said I would protect you. You’re my responsibility, and I will not let you down. Whatever fucked up shit you’ve been through doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is what we make of things now.” His soft breath caresses my lips, drawing me even closer. How can I be so attracted to a man who purposely goes out of his way to be mean and cold? He might have his reasons, but there truly is no excuse. It’s his fault that I am in his care to begin with.

Easing away, he clears my vision, allowing me to study his handsome features. He looks similar to Arsenio with the same eye shape and nose, but he has Enzo’s full lips and eyes a bit lighter than Enzo’s dark blue color. His rugged features mimic Desmond’s, his jawline hidden by stubble.

“You keep saying you’ll protect me, but if things came down to it, I know you would throw me to the streets. So don’t lie about it. You need to be honest with me. It’s okay. I understand that your life comes before mine, but I don’t want you to fuck with my head. I’ve been fucked with enough.” It’s as if a couple of inches of air and space between us helps clear my mind.

Wilder frowns, his soft expression twisting. A new scent wafts from him, one I can’t decipher, and then he closes the space again.

“My life is not worth more than yours. I realize I’m not easy to be around, but I wouldn’t lie to you. I don’t think you recognize how truly amazing you are. You need to understand something, though. This is dangerous. My brothers and I get zero say in the omega we’re intended to bond with. It falls on our leader, my father. The idea kills me. No one but those involved should make that choice. If it were up to me… I’m drawn to you so much that it scares me. I know nothing about you apart from what I’ve found on record.” Wilder tightens his fingers through my hair but doesn’t pull. He remains ultra-close.

“What have you found exactly?” My throat burns with my question. I should deny everything, but my curiosity wants to know what was said.

Something darkens in his eyes, his scent shifting even warmer. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Why?” I hold my breath, my anticipation trembling through my body.

“It’s hard to explain. I thought I would, but it’s funny, Kinsey. I don’t even care. I don’t give a damn about your past or where you’ve come from. I don’t need a history lesson. Because I’ve seen you with my brothers. I’ve seen you with Holly. And now, I see how you are with me. You’re guarded, but you feel what I feel. We need to figure this shit out. I want nothing more than to protect you so we can. Do you understand? I need—really fucking desperately need—for you to trust me.”

Leaning forward, Wilder surprises me with a kiss that steals my breath away. I remain frozen in my seat, his lips molding to mine, and all I can think about is how good he tastes. How hot he feels. How his words resonate with a truth I can’t deny.

But like he said, it doesn’t matter.

It can’t change anything.

Pulling away, I swipe my arm across my mouth, trying to get my wild heartbeats under control. “Don’t do this to me, Wilder. I’ve had enough fucking disappointment in my life. Let’s just get this over with so we can go home.” I blink my eyes, praying that my tears don’t spill.

Wilder slams his hands on the steering wheel and thrusts his door open.

He leaves me alone in the car. He disappears.

A tap on the window wakes me up, and I blink my eyes and stare at Wilder hovering on the sidewalk. I hadn’t realized I nodded off, my fear and agitation exhausting me. I scrub my palms into my sleepy gaze, not moving or acknowledging him with more than a second glance. He opens the door without waiting for a response, and I’m sure he just didn’t want to scare me.

“Come on, my little brat. We’re going to swap vehicles. I have a location to meet up with your dealer. She’s expecting you.” Wilder offers me his hand, waiting for me to take it.

I don’t right away, yawning and shaking the sleep from my mind.

Unlatching the seatbelt, I get to my feet on my own, stretching my arms over my head. Wilder’s eyes rove down my body, focusing on the skin of my stomach peeking from the hem of my shirt.

Surprisingly, I had no idea boredom could entice one of the best naps of my life. It was as if the scent of Wilder helped ensure that I slept peacefully. But I’d never admit it to him. I’m so annoyed by his actions and unexpected kiss. What was he even thinking?

He said it himself that nothing could ever come between us. I’m not someone to entertain him until he’s betrothed to another. It hurts too badly to think about. He can’t just toss my emotions around. I want him to be an asshole all the time or never. I hate this in-between bullshit, not knowing what or who I’m going to get with him, constantly leaving me in a state of confusion.

I sigh and clasp Wilder’s proffered hand, letting him pull me into his side. He rubs his fingers up and down my bicep, not even thinking twice about how close we are. I guess he wasn’t lying about protecting me, because I’m pretty sure he would murder anyone who got within a foot of us. He doesn’t show me anything, but I know he carries a weapon on him. A lot of alphas do. He and his brothers aren’t afraid to use them either, especially because I know that they have enemies in the Gutter District. We’re all aware that Madame Tamsin might be on the lookout to find out who murdered her brother and stole not only her goods but me.

But the Vixen Lounge is on the other side of town, and that’s the only reason I’m not as frightened as I should be. I’m not near my apartment either, so no one should recognize me. I never left the two-block radius around my home or work. There was a grocery store and a couple other shops that I frequented, so I lived a mundane, uneventful beta life.

If only I could’ve predicted this was where I’d end up. I wonder what Gillian’s going to ask. News travels fast around here, and she’ll be suspicious that I’ve found a pack—a powerful one at that—on my own. Because even if she doesn’t know or recognize Wilder as the son of a leader on one of the Pack Regimes, she’ll recognize him as a strong alpha.

With the thought of Gillian, fear clenches my heart. What if she goes to Madam Tamsin with information about me? I know that she was running from her, and it’s why she was charging extra to meet with me. She could buy her way out of whatever bullshit she was involved in.

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