Page 14 of Her Sinful Saints (The Seven Sinners of Hell's Kingdom 4)

It hurts me on a soul-deep level. I feel lost, yet I still feel as if I’m doing the right thing. If only others would agree with me. It would make things easier, and Azrael wouldn’t be in this position. He thinks he’s strong, but he has no idea. The guardians manage their power by staying together and acting as one. I am not a guardian. I am a Savior, which is different. I work on the bigger picture things, while the guardians follow orders. The only thing I follow is the light and right now, Raven’s shines incredibly bright. More so than I have ever seen her shine. I want to lose myself in her light.

Azrael screams, his pain and agony crashing into me as if it was my own. I whip my attention from the ground and watch as Dante cuts off Azrael’s wings. Raven surprises me by kicking the angel hard in his back, sending him into the portal to Hell.

“Oh, Raven,” I say, my voice barely coming out a whisper. “What have you done?”

I realize too late that I said the words too loudly and both Raven and Dante hear me. Raven covers her mouth with her hand, and her face morphs into a frown. It’s like realization sets in, and she understands what she has done. Her eyes glass over with her tears, and my heart fissures at the sight of her sadness. It’s not her fault that she has found herself in this position. I wish I could rush to her and comfort her, but I know if I make even a move, I might find myself getting launched into Hell.

Dante’s eyes flash with green light, and he spreads his wings wide. I don’t have a chance to brace myself as he flies at me. Shoving his hands into my chest, he knocks me into a tree trunk and pins me in place.

“You will not make her feel bad for standing up for herself and our cause. I will cut your wings off if you even try.” Dante growls deep in his throat, and the sound reverberates through me.

“Dante, you can let him go. Zade has every right to be shocked and scared by seeing one of his brethren going to Hell.” Raven’s voice draws my attention away from Dante and to her as she comes up and slides between us.

I gasp at the zing coursing through me. Her body presses against mine, and I can feel her heart beating against my chest. I automatically suck in a breath of her sweet fragrance and place my hand on her hip. I had no idea how much I missed her until now. It’s been a hard few weeks keeping away as best as I could...or at least, staying hidden.

After Andre convinced me to taste Raven in a way I never imagined I would, I knew that my fate was in jeopardy if I continued to cross the line. She knows that I never wander far, but I can’t handle that influence. My feelings for her run rampant in a way I can’t explain. I love her. I love her with my entire being as much as I love Andre. I can’t help it. It is in my nature to love fully, irrevocably, and unconditionally. Whether or not it’s the same kind of love the devils claim to feel is something I don’t know. Their emotions are dark and toxic. They eat away at Raven’s light and feed on her. But they never hurt her. Well, at least not in a way she doesn’t like. It’s all so confusing.

“Zade,” Raven says, touching her warm fingers to my cheek. “I’m glad you were here. It’s been a while since you’ve shown yourself to me. I thought maybe you had abandoned me with all of the craziness going on.”

I don’t respond right away. The softness of her voice squeezes my heart, and I wish that I were brave enough not to run back to hide in the shadows. I never wanted her to believe that I had abandoned her. It hurts me deeply that she ever felt that way.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I bow forward a bit, getting into her breathing space. I want nothing more than to kiss her and show her how much I have truly missed her. But I’m afraid. Dante glowers at me from behind her. I don’t know what he will do, but he’s not as encouraging as Kase and Andre. His envy makes him dangerous. I know it takes everything in him to control it in regards to Raven.

“You don’t have to apologize. Just kiss me.” Raven stretches the rest of the way to me and presses her lips to mine as if she could read my thoughts. I tense at the hot sensation of her mouth. She tastes of fire and something sweeter that I can’t put my finger on. It takes all my restraint not to kiss her more deeply, more fervently, and show her that even if I was shielding myself, I was never truly away.

“Careful, pretty soul,” Dante says, sliding his hand between mine and Raven’s stomachs. “I might want to join, and I don’t think this asshole is ready to climb aboard the Kink Express with us. I know from Andre that Zade ran away after he tasted the gloriousness of your pussy.”

I scrunch my nose. “I did not run away. Raven was upset over discovering that Elias was not in any of your kingdoms.” Oh no. I shouldn’t have said that.

Dante reaches over Raven, hooks both his hands around my neck, and flips me over her and his head. He drops me behind him, and if I hadn’t opened my wings to protect myself from the fall, I would have crashed into the ground.

Dante jumps onto me and shoves his hands to my chest. I don’t move or fight back as he restrains me, his anger escaping him with sprinkles of his venom. They pepper across my face, stinging my skin. Still, I don’t move. I worry that his rage will get the best of him, and Raven will get between us and get hurt in the crossfire.

“You told the guardians, didn’t you? I thought you were better than that, you prick.” Dante fists his hand, preparing to punch me in the face.

Raven scrambles closer and laces both her hands around his. “I don’t think he would do that. Right, Zade? If you said something, they’d have ensured you’d never come around me again. They’d have known that they hadn’t won.”

Dante doesn’t respond to her and instead shoves his hand harder into my chest. “You know why the guardians started attacking again, don’t you? You need to fucking tell us. I’ve had it with giving you the benefit of the doubt. I know you’re too chicken shit to finally see the truth, and you’re just too scared to do anything about it, but this is Raven’s life and our kingdoms that you’re fucking with. So, tell us, Zade. Why are they attacking now? How do they know that Elias isn’t in Hell?”

My whole body screams and argues with my mind, my mouth refusing to move as I think about what to say. I haven’t known that the guardians knew for long.

“Don’t make me rip it from you in front of Raven. She likes you, and I don’t want her to be pissed off at me. But it is important.” Dante’s eyes flash green, and his two long fangs protrude from beneath his lip.

Raven kneels beside me and caresses her fingers to my face. “Please, Zade.”

I squeeze my eyes shut, concentrating on the world around us. Saying a silent prayer, I ask for guidance. I need to know what to do. I’m tired of having to make these decisions for myself. Mortals are the ones who should have complete free will. Things would be much simpler if I didn’t. Because that’s what this is. It’s a test to see what I decide. And I’m going to fail. I know it. I want to. I want to show Raven that she can ask me anything, and I will answer to the best of my ability. I want her to know that even though we are on opposite sides of a war in the universe, I am here for her. I am here for Andre as well. I can’t deny that I want what’s best for them, even if they don’t realize it or know what’s truly best.

“Last chance,” Dante threatens, hissing with his words.

“I swear I didn’t tell them. I’ve been staying away from everyone. The test given to me by the Higher Power is far harder than I expected, and I can’t face Cassius or the guardians until I find my way and know exactly what path I’m following.” I flex my muscles and try to get Dante to loosen his grip on my shirt. He tightens the collar so much so that it’s hard to speak.

Dante bows closer, getting into my face. “That didn’t answer our question.”

“The guardians know that Elias isn’t in Hell because he’s not in Heaven like he was supposed to be.” I sigh with my words and tip my head back, staring up at the spattering of stars above us. “His soul had swayed toward Heaven. Even though his life was taken so suddenly, it was already over to begin with. He should have never been put in a new cycle. It’s freaking everyone out. They think that you will do something crazy to Raven, trying to speed up the reunion between her and her soulmate.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Raven asks, tugging at Dante’s shoulders until he releases me.

“It means they think we’re going to fucking kill you or something. It takes basically the same amount of time as it does with a pregnancy for a soul to get cycled back into the Mortal Realm. The fastest way to bring yours and Elias’s souls together again would be to trigger another cycle with you.” Dante reaches out and snatches Raven by the wrist and pulls her hand to his chest. “Which is something we never considered and would never consider doing. This cycle your soul is in is the one we want eternity with.”

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