Page 31 of An Alaskan Wedding (Alaskan Grooms 1)

He reached out and wrapped her mittened hand in his gloved one. “It’s worth a lot, Gracie. Believing in something when everything tells you it might not be worth believing in...that’s faith.”

She shook her head. It didn’t seem right to allow him to think she was a woman of faith. It was bad enough that Boone believed she was in Alaska in the pursuit of a romantic relationship. God hadn’t been a part of her life since her world had fallen apart two years ago. He’d stood by and let her whole world crumble into dust.

“I haven’t believed in anything for a very long time,” she admitted in a small voice.

Boone squeezed her hand tightly. “I’m so sorry that your hopes and dreams were crushed. I understand what it feels like to have your world fall apart around you. My heart has been knocked around a time or two, but I still have faith. I still believe in loving someone with every fiber of my being. And even though my trust has been broken, I still want everlasting love. I think I deserve that.”

She tried to swallow past the huge lump in her throat. Boone’s words had reached deep down inside her very soul and tugged hard on her heartstrings. The feelings he was stirring up were powerful. If she had to reduce it to one single emotion, it was longing. Deep, profound longing. He’d tapped into the very core of her beliefs— the ones she kept hidden behind a thick, impenetrable wall. Hiding them had been a whole lot easier than grieving the loss of her dreams. The loss of her family. The future she’d dreamed of ever since she was a kid—Trey and enough children to fill up a huge Victorian house in the suburbs.

When her wedding had come apart at the seams, her family had acted as if she was their shame, their disappointment, their soul-crushing moment. Instead of taking her into the fold and nursing away the hurt, they’d treated her like an albatross around their necks. They’d blamed her for botching an opportunity to improve their social standing.

The words her mother had hurled at her would be imprinted in her memory forever.

“All you had to do was get him to walk down the aisle, and you couldn’t even do that right.”

She flinched as the callousness of her mother’s words served as a reminder of her fractured family and the hole in her that might never be filled up. She hadn’t deserved their treatment, nor their scorn. They should have loved her all the more, no matter how disappointed they felt.

“I suppose I am guarding my heart. It’s hard to believe in anything when the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally turn their backs on you and break your heart into a hundred little pieces in the process.”

Chapter Nine

The pain etched on Grace’s face nearly did him in. Her words rocked him to his core. A mighty anger began brewing inside him. This Trey character was weak and unprincipled. And her family should have provided her with open arms and a soft place to fall. They should have rallied around her and closed ranks until her wounds healed. From the sounds of it, she’d been thrown under the bus by everyone involved. He hurt terribly for her.

r /> He felt nothing but disgust for Trey! He battled an urge to book a flight to New York City just so he could face this coward and give him a piece of his mind. What kind of man allowed a woman to think they were getting married and then tossed her aside right before they were supposed to meet at the altar and exchange their vows before their loved ones and God?

Boone cleared his throat. He needed to get a handle on this and figure out what he was up against. Perhaps Grace had come to Love in order to get over her ex-fiancé. There was a distinct possibility that she still had strong feelings for him. Cameron was a prime example. Despite Paige’s machinations, his brother still loved her. And Honor still hadn’t gotten over Joshua.

“Do you still love him?” There was no sense in beating around the bush. If she was still in love with her spineless ex, he needed to know before he invested any more of himself in Grace.

She didn’t answer for a moment, and he felt his heart drop to his stomach. Please, don’t be in love with him. The thought repeated in his head like a benediction. He stared into those vivid blue eyes of hers, hoping he might find his answer in their depths.

“No, I don’t love him,” she answered with a hint of a smile perched on her lips. “And to tell you the truth, I’m not sure I ever really did. Not in the truest sense of the word. He represented something to me that I’d been yearning for my whole life.”

“Acceptance?” he asked. It seemed clear to him that the people in Grace’s life hadn’t shown her unconditional love. Perhaps Grace had believed that in marrying Trey, her family would finally accept her.

Surprise flashed in her eyes. “Yes. I suppose that was a large part of it. Wide-open arms to embrace me when the world gets crazy all around me.”

“There are plenty of arms that can do that. You just have to know where to look to find them,” Boone drawled.

Their gazes met and held. Understanding passed between them. Grace’s shoulders relaxed. She let out a little sigh. Her defenses were down. She was no longer fighting him. Now he knew exactly why she’d been so prickly and why she doubted Operation Love. She hadn’t wanted Gunther, Lionel or Abel to get hurt because she herself had been badly bruised by love. Being aware of Grace’s past made him feel even closer to her. They’d both invested themselves in people who weren’t worthy of their devotion.

“That’s good to know,” Grace murmured.

Boone felt a tad guilt-ridden about the speech he’d just delivered to Grace. Here he was spouting off about believing in love when he himself was holding back. He’d been shielding his heart against Grace from day one. That all was going to end tonight. He was going to take a step out of his comfort zone and show Grace that he wasn’t just paying lip service. He intended to show her in no uncertain terms that he was wide-open to all the possibilities.

* * *

As she stood and looked down at the townsfolk gathered around Deer Run Lake, Grace felt a sense of peace envelop her. So many nights she’d lain awake praying for this very feeling. She’d asked God for closure and tranquillity. Now, unexpectedly, she’d found serenity in the most unlikely of places. And she knew a large part of it was due to Boone. Every moment she spent in his company helped restore her belief in finding someone who shared similar beliefs about life and love and family.

She’d shocked herself by being so open with Boone about her romantic past. It wasn’t something she normally shared. And he’d been sensitive and tender and kind. When he’d talked about faith, he’d made her feel as if it was still a part of her, even though she hadn’t recognized it until now.

It was becoming crystal clear to her that she needed to lead a more faith-driven life. And even though she’d turned her back on God, He was continually showing her that He hadn’t given up on her.

Lord, I need to believe in something. I want to trust in a higher power, to know that no matter what happens I can lean on You, Lord. For so long now I’ve been winging it on my own. All it’s gotten me is loneliness. And for so long I’ve been pretending to have it all, when in reality I’m lacking the very things I want the most.

A sudden roar went up in the throng of people. The crowd began to buzz noisily.

“Look, Grace,” Boone shouted as he pointed up at the sky. “If you live to be a hundred you might never see anything half as beautiful as this.”

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