Helene let out a shocked sound. “My expectations? What are you talking about? All I ever wanted was for you to live a life filled with love, with God and your family at the center. As far as I can see, mission accomplished. You’re a wonderful mother.”

“Oh, Mama. That means a lot to me. For so long now I thought you didn’t like me very much,” she admitted, finally acknowledging the little kernel of hurt that had been embedded inside her for decades.

Helene reached out and caressed Rachel’s face with her palm. “I have loved you with an everlasting love. I’m sorry I didn’t always show you affection, but after we lost your father I felt so consumed by fear that I shut down a little on the inside. I loved him with every breath of my being and it was terrifying to lose him so suddenly and completely. Like you and Gabriel, we’d known each other since we were kids. I truly couldn’t conceive of a world without him in it.” Her lips trembled with emotion. “As a result, I turned inward and stuffed all those emotions down into a dark hole, thinking that I was saving all of us from a world of pain.”

“It’s understandable, Mama. Loss is such a difficult thing to navigate. There wasn’t any manual to take you through the grieving process.” Rachel couldn’t imagine having to walk in her mother’s shoes after suffering such a devastating loss. “I imagine you were in survival mode.?

? She herself had been on autopilot as a single mother after birthing two premature babies.

“No, there wasn’t a how-to book on surviving grief, but I should have done better,” Helene confessed. “I should have encouraged you to get therapy when you told me about witnessing the accident. Back then I didn’t really believe in it, probably because of the way I was raised, but I’ve come to realize it could have helped you. Maybe then you wouldn’t have run away from Gabriel and Owl Creek.”

“You’re not to blame. That’s all in the past. If I hadn’t left Alaska my girls wouldn’t exist. God had a plan for me, even when I didn’t.”

“Amen!” Helene said before stifling a yawn.

“Mama, we can discuss this to our hearts’ content when you get back home. For now, you need to rest, and I have to head to Lake Hood so I can fly home with Gabriel.” She stood up and leaned over the hospital bed so she could press a kiss on Helene’s temple. “Neil is here, and he’s itching to see you.”

“Go catch your flight, my sweet girl. And don’t fret. Gabriel will get you home to your sweethearts. He’s as dependable as the sun rising in the morning.”

When she reached the doorway, Rachel turned around and blew her mother a kiss. So much had changed in the past few weeks between herself and Helene. Knowing her mother was proud of her made her soul soar. In a few hours she would be reunited with Lizzy and Faith. As she walked down the hall toward the waiting room her thoughts immediately veered toward Gabriel. Mama was right. He was a man a woman could count on, come what may. Most women would view him as a keeper, although she’d tossed him aside in a moment of blindness. Once again, that knowledge caused a feeling of shame to course through her.

If only she didn’t harbor so many fears about him being a bush pilot and risking his life flying into remote areas in Alaska. If only he was an accountant or a bank manager or a baker. If only she wasn’t tempted to fall in love with Gabriel all over again.

Chapter Ten

The flight back to Owl Creek was as uneventful as their journey to Anchorage. Her worries regarding something happening with the flight hadn’t completely abated, but Gabriel made it tolerable with his lively banter and calm vibe. She still experienced a bit of anxiety regarding the possibility of an in-flight emergency occurring. At times, random images of fire and ash flitted through her mind. Although it was an uncomfortable feeling, Rachel prayed fervently and did breathing exercises until they’d safely reached Owl Creek. Snow had begun to gently fall a few minutes before Gabriel landed the plane on the runway. Rachel soaked in the beauty of the snow-capped mountains looming in the distance and the shimmering lights emanating from the shops on Main Street. Her hometown was jaw-droppingly beautiful. There wasn’t any place she’d ever been to that measured up to Owl Creek, and she knew there never would be. Lately she’d been wondering if there was a place for her here if she chose to stay.

But how could she when so much was unsettled between herself and Gabriel? Could she bear to sit by and watch if he settled down with another woman and built a family? All this time she’d thought guilt and shame were her only ties to her ex-fiancé, but in reality she wondered if her feelings for him weren’t coming back to life. Or was it simply nostalgia she was feeling?

On the drive back to the house, there was a companionable silence between her and Gabriel. So much had happened in the last twenty-four hours. She imagined he was just as exhausted as she was. Not to mention he would be flying back to Anchorage tomorrow to pick up her mother and Neil. She wasn’t sure a simple thank-you would ever be enough.

“Home sweet home,” Gabriel said as he reached the Marshall residence and parked the car in the driveway.

“Thanks for everything,” she murmured after they’d both emerged from the truck.

“You’re welcome. I’m glad we headed out when we did, considering all this snow coming down. It appears we’re getting a little Alaskan storm.” He reached into the back and pulled out her small overnight suitcase.

She turned her face up to the sky, enjoying the feeling of the snowflakes as they landed on her eyelids. As a child she’d done this every single time it snowed. Rachel twirled around as a feeling of joy swept over her. She had so much to be thankful for on this snowy Alaskan evening. So much of the time she reined in her emotions, but for right now she wanted to celebrate. What was better than dancing in the falling snow? Strangely, she’d never done it in Denver. There was something about being back home in Owl Creek that made it all the more special.

Suddenly, Rachel felt a smacking sensation against the back of her head. She reached behind her to touch her head and felt a wet, icy spot. She stopped and whirled around as a sneaking suspicion dawned on her. “What in the world?”

She immediately spotted Gabriel standing a few feet behind her shaking snow off his gloves. It was a weak attempt at getting rid of the evidence, especially since he was doing it in plain sight.

“You didn’t just hit me with a snowball!” she shouted.

Gabriel smirked at her. “I’m so sorry,” he said, doubled over with laughter. “I couldn’t resist. You were the perfect unsuspecting victim. Consider yourself snowballed.”

“Oh really?” Rachel retorted, bending over and scooping up a mound of snow in her hands. She began to shape it into the perfect snowball. “You’re in for it, Lawson!”

“No offense, but I’m not scared. You were never any good at snowball throwing even though it’s practically a sport here in Owl Creek,” Gabriel crowed, waving a dismissive hand at her. She let out an angry cry and threw the snowball straight at him. Much to her chagrin it landed with a plop a few feet away from him. Gabriel let out a hoot of laughter. “I guess you didn’t do much snowball throwing in Colorado.”

Rachel bent down and gathered an armful of snow in her arms, then went running in Gabriel’s direction. Having caught him off guard, Rachel threw the mound of snow directly at him. It landed smack in the middle of his face, leaving him sputtering and wiping snow away.

He let out an awful moan and dropped to his knees in the snow. Rachel stopped in her tracks. He was hurt and it was all her fault for lobbing the icy snow mixture at him. She quickly made her way to his side, consumed by worry.

“Oh no! Gabriel! Are you all right? I didn’t mean to hit you in the face.” She was annoyed at herself for taking it too far. Now Gabriel had his hands covering his face. For all she knew he had snow and ice in his eyes. The rule of snowball throwing had always been not to hit someone directly in the face. She reached out and pulled his hands away from his face. “Let me help you, Gabriel.” After a few agonizing seconds, he was suddenly looking at her and chuckling. Not a single thing was wrong with him!

She swatted him in the arm as he got to his feet. “You’re such a faker! I thought you were hurt.”