Page 24 of An Alaskan Twin Surprise (Home to Owl Creek 2)

Try as he might, he couldn’t seem to win the battle against the anger bubbling under the surface.

He didn’t want to feel this way. He’d thought Rachel no longer had the ability to affect him like this, but he’d been wrong. She had him all twisted up inside.

“I tried. I wanted to tell you everything I was feeling, but I couldn’t,” she said, her words ending on a sob. Normally a woman’s tears would affect him, but he had a righteous anger in his belly. “I just wasn’t strong enough.”

His temples throbbed as the facts spun around in his head. He wasn’t sure it would ever make sense to him. As a man who liked a certain order in his life, it was a frustrating feeling.

“I guess what bothers me the most is that you had all the choices at your disposal. I didn’t make any of the decisions, yet my life was completely blown off course by the ones you made for both of us.”

“I pray you can forgive me someday,” Rachel said in a soft voice. “I let fear swallow me up and all of my decisions were a direct result of being afraid. It’s taken me a very long time, but I’ve finally been able to forgive myself a little.”

Silence stretched out between them. Neither one seemed to know what to say to bridge the huge divide separating them. Gabriel wasn’t even certain he wanted to try. He let out a huff of air. “In my head I’ve forgiven you a thousand times or more, but in my heart I just can’t seem to let it go. Maybe if I hadn’t loved you with all of my heart it would be easier. Perhaps if a hundred years passed, I’d be able to hear all of this and feel a sense of closure, but I don’t. I wanted answers from you, but this—” He threw his hands up in the air. “None of what you just said to me gives me any measure of peace.”

“All I can do is apologize and pray one day you can fully accept it.” Her head was bowed, and he saw tears glistening on her cheeks. “I should probably go check in on Mama and take her home. It’s been a long day for her. Good night, Gabriel.”

With eyes full of sadness, she took off his tuxedo jacket and handed it to him before leaving the patio and heading back inside. As he slung the jacket over his shoulder all he could smell was the aroma of vanilla and peaches—Rachel’s scent—clinging to it and serving as a potent reminder of her.

* * *

Gabriel watched as Rachel walked away from him. He’d tried his best to keep calm during their discussion, but her confession had shaken him to his core. All this time he’d wanted to know the truth about Rachel’s shocking departure from Owl Creek. Never had he imagined that she’d decided not to marry him due to his career as a pilot—the one area of his life where he excelled. The only thing that made him special.

He couldn’t help but wonder what might have been if she’d told him everything three years ago. Would they have managed to work their way through her doubts and gotten married? Perhaps the truth was she just hadn’t been ready to commit to a future with him. Being a pilot was like breathing to him. It was as much a part of him as his brown eyes or the color of his skin. Giving up his career in order to quell Rachel’s fears would have been impossible.

Perhaps it just hadn’t been meant to be. Maybe she’d done him a favor.

Life was like a chain. He now knew without a shadow of a doubt that the ripples from Lance Marshall’s tragic death had spread to his relationship with Rachel. Despite everything she had put him through, he couldn’t help but feel sympathy for all she’d endured. Lance had been a larger-than-life figure in their small Alaskan town. He’d been the reason Gabriel had dared to dream of becoming a pilot. His death had cast a pall over Owl Creek for a very long time. The Marshall family had been torn apart by grief and loss, and he wasn’t sure they would ever be the same.

Although Gabriel had only been a teenager at the time, he remembered that period in his life, mainly because he was in a relationship with Rachel and he’d looked up to Lance. Her dad had taken Gabriel up into the wild blue yonder on many occasions. The older man had taught him so much about being a pilot and chasing your dreams. He’d been his mentor and friend.

How had he not realized that Rachel had been suffering from trauma? Yes, she had been quieter and more introspective in the aftermath of her father’s death, but that was to be expected after such a tragic event. Gabriel hadn’t ever imagined she was struggling with PTSD. Never in a million years had he suspected she’d witnessed the tragic plane crash. It was still hard to wrap his head around.

“Hey, buddy. What’s going on?” Braden walked over and clapped him on the shoulder once Gabriel came back into the house.

Braden’s white shirt was unbuttoned and there was no sign of his tuxedo jacket. Having grown up with Braden, Gabriel knew he was a laid-back guy who preferred jeans and a sweatshirt to any other attire. An adventure seeker, his pal had been traveling the world for years in pursuit of adrenaline-producing activities. Climbing Mount Everest, swimming with sharks, white water rafting in Costa Rica and caving in Iceland—Braden had done it all.

Gabriel simply nodded in response to the other man’s question. If he uttered a single word, he might just explode.

Braden narrowed his gaze as he looked at him. “Is everything all right? You seem a little bit shaken.”

He couldn’t bear to pretend anymore. He’d been doing it for years and it had taken a toll on him. For so long he’d been plastering a jovial smile on his face to mask his unhappiness. Now it felt as if it was oozing out of him all at once.

“To be perfectly honest, I’m a bit rattled.”

“Anything you want to talk about? They tell me I’m a good listener.”

It was hard for Gabriel to confide in anyone without fearing judgment. As much as he considered Connor and Hank to be his best friends, he didn’t think either one wanted to hear a single word about Rachel. Neither one would understand his inability to completely sever ties with her and move on with his life. For so long now he’d been grieving the loss of the life he’d expected to live with Rachel at his side. It was a process he had to go through in his own time.

“I thought that I knew Rachel utterly and completely. We were together ever since our teen years. Everyone here in town would laugh when we finished each other’s sentences and walked through town with our hands entwined. They said we already acted like an old married couple, and I honestly thought we were destined to walk through life together.” He let out a brittle laugh. “When I wrote my vows, I had a line in there about growing old together as our hair turned gray. Just thinking about it makes me feel like the biggest fool in the world.”

“Hey. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I’ve never been in love before, but I do remember seeing the two of you around town, joined at the hip. It looked an awful lot like the real thing to me. You were the couple everyone aspired to be like.”

Gabriel w

inced. People in Owl Creek had always told them they were the couple most likely to end up happily married with a house full of kids. Clearly, they’d been very wrong.

“I thought we had it all,” he murmured. Perhaps he’d been nothing more than a naive fool.

“Maybe you did. Just because it fell apart doesn’t mean it wasn’t real,” Braden said, his green eyes intense.

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