Page 30 of The Man in the Painting

CHAPTERTEN

Melody

I lean back on the couch with a soft sigh, oddly comforted by the enveloping darkness of the living room.

I’ve never been so confused in my life.

Ever since I left home three years ago, I have lived diligently, determined never to be any of those things my mother said I’d be.

A failure…a disappointment.

At least for myself, I was determined to make something meaningful out of my life. I decided long ago to make the best of whatever crap life throws at me. But despite my resolution, I still live every day in unending misery and barely get through the nights.

I fill my days with so much work leaving myself no time to socialize with others.

What if everyone, like my mother, thinks I’m not even worthy of the air I breathe…?

People in Hudson have been nice to me, but I always tell myself it’s because they don’t really know me, so I never give them the chance to.

I have conformed so much to my mother’s degrading view of me that I can’t seem to break away from my shell.

Even with the miles between us, her words keep pulling me back to that dark place I tried so hard to escape.

She lives in my head, constantly beating down my self-confidence. So, I’ve never craved for more, and I’ve always contented myself with just existing.

I never counted myself worthy of being desired, so I never tried.

And when the walls of my heart start to close in on me, I take my pain in stride and smile brightly for those around me. I’ve gotten used to this bland existence and was fine with it.

Then, Abram Harden came into my life and slowly started to chip away my self-doubts and insecurities.

These days I find myself wanting more.

I’ve often thought about what it would be like to explore my desires with him… To let go and get caught up in a whirlwind of passion.

Maybe it’s because he keeps contradicting everything I knew about myself for the past twenty-one years, slowly driving away the domineering image of my mother.

You’re amazing, Melody…

You’re beautiful, Melody…

You’re perfect…

He keeps saying these things to me, and I keep wanting to believe him.

I keep wanting to get lost in those endless blue-green eyes that look at me like I’m truly special.

I keep wanting more.

Now it seems like I’m caught up between an overwhelming past and an unfamiliar but enticing present.

My life feels like it’s at a point where I can’t seem to move forward or go backward.

I don’t know if I should give in to this thrilling desire to let go and live freely or run as fast as my legs can carry me.

The room is suddenly flooded with light.

I blink rapidly, trying to adjust my sight to the sudden brightness.

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