Because he is already broken.
And, maybe, I want him to break me a little, too.
“Can I ask you something?” he says to me, a little quieter this time.
“Sure,” I say.
“Do you actually believe in… you know, all this?” he asks.
I smile.
He asked me this sooner than I thought.
“Do I believe in God? Yes. Do I believe that you have to go to church every Sunday? I think it’s nice. Do I believe in the Bible? Most parts, sure.”
He looks me square in the eye.
There’s a glimmer of mischief to it.
“Do you believe in the whole no sex before marriage thing?” he asks.
I should have known.
He wants to make me feel uncomfortable.
I smile. He thinks he knows my answer.
He has no idea.
“You want to know what I really think?” I ask, moving my hand on the bus bench closer to his thigh.
“Sure,” he says.
“I think that I want to know what it feels like,” I tell him, my voice soft and slow, “to want someone as badly as they want you. To feel the heat of his body against mine.”
I lean in closer.
I lean in so that my lips are close to his ear.
I lean in so it’s our little secret.
“And I think I don’t want to wait for that any longer than I have to. Especially… if I find the right person,” I tell him.
I pull away from Rex.
He wipes the hair away from his forehead.
I think he may even be sweating a little.
“That’s—uh—good to know,” he tells me, fumbling for words.
I smile and look ahead to the front of the bus.
I don’t know what the hell I am doing.
But I know I don’t want to stop.
Chapter Three