“I shouldn’t want you,” he tells me, after he’s already had me. “You’re… good. And you deserve some kind of prince on a white horse. I’m not that guy.”
I know what he is doing.
I may not have experience with guys, but I have watched enough movies to know this story.
He is trying to push me away.
Or he is trying to dump me in a way that makes me feel good about it.
“I don’t expect anything from you,” I tell him. “If you want to be the bad guy, you can be the bad guy. Tonight was incredible. We can leave it here.”
I kiss him one last time.
And then I grab my clothes, slip them back onto my body, and walk out of the woods.
Chapter Five
Rex
I am an asshole.
It is the first thing I think about when I wake up in my bunk in this cabin at this retreat that Ireallywant to leave more than ever now.
I fucked the preacher’s daughter, but what’s worse is that I effectively tried to dump her afterward.
She saw right through that.
For a girl with no experience, she was incredibly smart.
There’s a reason why all of my ex-girlfriends hate me. I suck at relationships. I suck at life in general.
I am tired of being a piece of shit all the time.
That’s really the truth about why I told her what I did last night. I want more of Faith, but the more we keep this up, the more hurt she will get.
I mean, it is not like I am the kind of guy she can introduce to her dad.
I can’t even drive her on dates without taking a breathalyzer test first to make my car start.
She is much better off without me.
I get dressed and throw my hoodie back on over my head.
I want to disappear today.
The first thing on the agenda today is a talk from a guy who gets ex-convicts hired and rehabilitated back into the real world.
A little heavy for the morning, but whatever.
I sit in the back row.
Faith is up front, sitting with some friends. She’s wearing jeans again today and a pale pink t-shirt. Her hair is tied up in a ponytail with a black scrunchie.
The man at the front that is talking to us is not the kind of man that I would think would be speaking at a youth group retreat.
He has tattoos.
His hair is jet black and slicked all the way back on his head.