Page 75 of In Chaos We Reign (Midnight Mayhem 4)

Ihaven’t thought much about what Keaton said last night, but the ‘him losing me’ thing has been playing on repeat in my head. I figure it’s just Keaton being Keaton, but as we wait for the rest of The Brothers in the smaller private jet, I can’t help but replay the words over and over like a shitty song that’s too catchy to forget. Turning to face him, I remove an AirPod and search his side profile. The sharp line of his jaw and deep indents of his cheekbones. He has the perfect pointed nose too, and soft lips that curl around the edges. His dark hair only slightly falls over his forehead, touching his olive skin.

“Why did you keep saying that you were going to lose me last night?”

His eyes open lazily and he turns his head toward me, looking between my eyes and my mouth. It pains me when he does that because it’s as though he’s trying to think of what not to say when he knows he can tell me anything and it won’t change how I feel about him.

“Because it’s inevitable, Tigger.”

I shake my head slowly, brushing my lips against his just enough to catch the breath that he breathes out. “No, it’s not, because you could tell me that you do the worst thing in the world and I’d still love you.”

His lips widen slightly as a hiss leaves him. “Don’t say that shit to me, Cartier.” He turns away from me, hiking his foot up onto the table in front of us.

“Why?” I don’t mean it to come out as loud as it does.

“Because you don’t know the half of what I do.”

“I’m pretty sure I do, Keaton…” I deadpan, reaching for the safety card on the table.

“Pretty sure you don’t, Cartier…” he mimics my tone, and I feel anger bubbling through me.

I open my mouth. “What? That you fucking kill people?”

His eyes shoot around the plane before landing back on me. “Shut the fuck up, Cartier. You and your big fucking mouth.”

I widen my eyes at him. “Well, it’s true.”

“Yeah, I’ve never hidden from you what I do for Kiznitch. If the recruits don’t comply, their family gets wiped out. Period. So what?”

I wait for a few seconds, memorizing the way his lashes fan out over his cheeks every time he blinks. The way his muscles on his face are relaxed and his shoulders are slightly hunched over. Flicking my tongue over the curve of my tooth, I nod. “Right, well, that and the fact that you kill for pleasure, therapy, and fun too…”

The easiness on his face freezes and his shoulders stiffen. Holding my breath, I wait for him to say the next words. Anything. Confirm or try to deny. The truth is, I worked it out a long time ago. At one point in Keaton’s life, he was coming to see me every day, with blood sprays still on him. It’s as though he would come to me, right after doing what he did.

“Are we ready to kill some motherfuckers?” Killian jumps through the door.

I rest back in my chair. “I’m around unstable people.”

Keaton leaves to the back of the plane, shoving through the curtains where the private room is. I don’t bother following. I know when to push and when to pull when it comes to Keaton, and right now, I need to do neither.

Killian looks between the swaying curtains and me. “Trouble already?”

“Trouble from the beginning,” I mumble, just as Kyrin and King enter from behind, with Kohen in tow and Jordan and Christopher. Kenan stumbles in behind them, with Keres and Klaus closely following.

“Well, this is not happening without me!” Kenan finds me instantly, pushing out of Jordan and Christopher’s way and falling down opposite. “Baby girl, I’ve missed you. Haven’t seen you much lately.”

“I know,” I say, peering out the window onto the tarmac. “It’s been a crazy time.”

Kenan’s brows pull in with confusion, his head tilting. “Wait, I mean, since you know”—he leans in closer, half of his mouth curving up when he says the next words—“that happened.”

I turn away from the window. “What—”

“Kenan, who the fuck let you in?” Keaton grabs my hand and places it on his thigh when he’s seated back down. I leave it. Part of loving someone like Keaton is accepting his demons.

Kenan’s wide-tooth smile wrinkles his cheeks, and I can’t help but chuckle. He’s infectious. Everywhere he goes, he leaves a sprinkle of happiness. “Well, someone needs to make sure Killian doesn’t die. Sass’ orders.”

“Me.” Keaton points to himself. “I make sure no one dies.”

“Mmmm.” Kenan’s lips curl around his teeth, his eyes squinting. “No offense, Drac, but we all know that you’d bathe in blood before you’d stop it from spilling.” Keaton tenses beneath my hand, so I gently massage it until he relaxes. “So! Where’s the alcohol? I plan to get drunk now, snort some coochie, and be all prepped for the red reunion.”

“You’re calling it the red reunion?” I raise my brow at Kenan.

---