Page 12 of Finding Forever

It wasn’t until much later that I had any idea just how wrong I was for thinking that.

∞∞∞

As we waited for the pizza to arrive, I found myself wondering what Penny and Maverick were doing in this very moment.

I was still bummed that we had to forfeit our plans and knew the awkward silence at our table wouldn’t exist if Mycah and I were out with our intended dinner guests. However, the whole point of this vacation was to make sure Mycah had quality time with Chris. And I wouldn’t stand in the way of that.

Chris’ head was down as he scrolled through his phone, completely tuning us out. Thankfully, Mycah was occupied with a coloring page, so he was spared having to stare at the top of his father’s head while he paid attention to everything but us.

I couldn’t stand the silence a second longer. I tried to act as a bridge to open up the lines of communication.

“Mycah, tell your dad what you did today,” I prompted cheerfully.

Regardless of how this outing was going, we’d still had fun today, and I knew Mycah would be eager to share. His eyes became animated as he looked up and started telling Chris all about the games he and Penny had played in the pool.

“Do you know how to play that game, Daddy?” Mycah asked when he finished recapping our adventures in water polo.

Chris only glanced up from his phone for a matter of seconds before he distractedly shook his head, making it clear that he couldn’t be bothered with a verbal response. As I looked over to Mycah to gauge his reaction, the crestfallen expression on his face extinguished the last shred of hope I had about this being a successful “family” outing.

I wanted to say something to Chris. I really did. But I wouldn’t be the one to stir up trouble. Not in front of Mycah. At the very least, I wished I could kick my ex-husband under the table for being uninterested, but just as I was entertaining the thought, our waiter arrived.

“Large pie, five cheeses!” he announced, drowning out the silence at our table.

I went through the motions of plating the pizza for Mycah and I. Chris’ plate was still empty as we dug in. Distracted by food, Mycah’s spirits seemed to lift. As I ate, I watched him turn hopeful eyes to his dad.

Mycah swallowed his food and asked, “Do you love me daddy?”

For the first time since we arrived, Chris looked up from his phone for more than two seconds.

“Of course, I love you, buddy.”

Mycah looked unconvinced by his father’s reassurance. Chris picked up on it, but it was already too late. The dejected look on Mycah’s face was no match for the heartbreak I was feeling, having to witness it all.

Regret trampled the rest of my hope for this dinner and, from that point on, I just counted down the time until we could leave.

∞∞∞

Mycah was tucked away in bed, and Chris was somewhere in town. Whether he was off on his own or somewhere with Victoria, it was obvious he was avoiding home.

He’d dropped us off after dinner and disappeared. It was evident that Mycah was still upset, but instead of trying to spend time comforting him or making things right, he left. As was customary for him.

Chris was not a man who liked to deal with the consequences of his actions. He had no problem creating issues—intentionally or otherwise—but dealing with those issues would never be his priority.

Frustrated, I stepped out onto the back deck of the cottage and inhaled the night air. The ocean breeze worked to cool some of the hot tears running down my cheeks, but it wasn’t much because they were falling in droves.

Crying over Chris had not been on my list of things to during this vacation. But the blatant emotional neglect was triggering. It served as a reminder of why I had left. Yet, even though I’d gotten out of the marriage, I was still left with the responsibility of co-parenting with him. An experience I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

I just wanted this vacation to be over. Not an ounce of optimism remained where this trip was concerned. Sniffling, I heard a door sliding open and looked over at the neighboring house just in time to see Maverick step onto his own back deck.

He stared peacefully into the darkness for a beat, and I admired the calm radiating off of him. What I wouldn’t give to be that unbothered right now.

I sniffed again and ran my hands over my face to clear up the tears. Even though he couldn’t see me, some part of me still wanted to be “together” if he did. Moments later, Maverick turned in my direction and paused. The light was on inside and pouring out onto the deck.

“Gina?” he called into the darkness.

“Yep,” I replied feebly. My voice was shaky.

Maverick must have heard the emotion in my voice, because he was climbing down the stairs in the next instant and walking in my direction. He stepped onto my deck and his aura shifted the air around me immediately.

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