Page 36 of The Last First Date

‘Yep, our Vernon was a married man. Explains why he disappeared off and never came back. Looks like he had quite a few kids too.’

‘It just doesn’t make sense, why write all these letters, if you’re married??’ Helen felt herself shudder, what was wrong with romance at the moment? It felt like the possibility of true love kept being trampled on by unfaithful husbands, and dating app server failures.

‘You’re a nice woman, Helen.’

‘Why do you say that?’

‘Only seeing th’ good in people. Look, we dunno, maybe he was unhappy, maybe he had to stay married, maybe he was just cheating scum, but the records don’t lie.’

‘Any idea if he’s still alive now?’

‘If so, he’ll have got his letter from the Queen! Sorry not the time for a joke …’ Ish’s thumbs accelerated around one another nervously ‘… well we can search death records, they’re not released until over a hundred years after someone was born, and to be honest often take longer than that.’

‘Ish?’ His Rolo eyes met Helen’s for the first time that day. ‘Are you moonlighting as Sherlock Holmes in your next video by any chance?’

‘Ha. More like Watson.’ Ish sat more upright and ran a hand through his thick, dark hair. ‘So, what we can do is take a look and see if he still lives at that address now. Plenty a dodgy internet company that will tell me who lives at any address for a £15 a month subscription.’ Ish made a grimace and began typing away again.

Helen tried to sweep that disappointed feeling that had settled in her stomach to one side. Why did Vernon have to turn out to be one of those guys? And why wasn’t she in Brody’s Tesla driving down the Amalfi coast? Or at least having a coffee with him? Because really what would someone like Helen be doing in a sports car on the Amalfi coast anyway?

She felt a pat on her hand. ‘Don’t be down now. It’s only one bad bloke.’ Ish studied the laptop screen. ‘So he doesn’t live there now, by the looks of things, so he may well be dead. If that’ll cheer you up?’

Helen felt that restrictive feeling in her throat again and a tear (why was she always crying lately?). She turned to the side and tried to wipe the corners of her eyes with her dress sleeve.

‘Hels, Hels, look if you weren’t a strange woman in my apartment, I’d offer yer a hug.’ Ish’s hand resumed gently patting hers like she was a tiny forest creature. ‘Best I can suggest now is we take a drive over to Ealing, chat to some neighbours, see what’s what; and if anyone remembers anything maybe it will be a funny story to tell your nan. Plus, the good news is the person who does live at his address shares Vernon’s surname, so we’ve got a hot lead right there.’

‘You’ve got a car?’

‘Yep, nothing fancy. Parked outside. Like to drive home and see me mum on the weekends like a good boy.’

‘And the famous vlogger @Ishtory has nothing better to do today?’

‘Well just some editing but it’s a nice day and I like a bit of spontaneity.’

Someone with Vernon’s surname? It had to be a relative, probably a descendent? Maybe they’d inherited the house after Vernon had died, or maybe he was in a nursing home nearby? It waspossible. Even if she couldn’t catch Brody before he got on the train, maybe this smaller wish could work out? Hope squeezed in Helen like a sponge.

Ish had a small, black Golf parked just on the street outside his apartment block. Squeezing into the (not untidy) car, Helen ducked under the various rosary beads that were dangling down from his rear-view mirror.

‘Are you Catholic?!’

‘No, I just like vintage crucifixes. Hopefully, many years of good vibes and prayers in that,’ said Ish, unravelling the beads from the mirror and throwing them on the back seat. ‘So, apart from chasing around after hundred-year-old players, what else can I know about you? How’s the business?’

‘I think calling it a business may be a stretch. It’s just me. It’s going okay.’

‘Ah, very insightful. We’ll leave that topic there then. But I’ll just tell you right now, I often feel the same …’ Ish smiled. ‘Favourite food?’

‘Hmmmm, peanut butter and jam sandwiches.’

‘A classic! Not the same on gluten-free bread unfortunately. Star sign?’

‘Libra.’

‘You’re indecisive?’

‘You know about astrology?’

‘Only when it comes to saying the odd corny chat-up line.’ Ish faintly smiled. ‘How’s the love life?’

‘Oh God.’

---