Page 8 of Adrian (Big Hot Alphas 10)

I want to tell her to stay in town longer than just one night, but I know that wouldn’t be fair of me to make such a demand. She’s on a journey. I can’t get in the way of that.

“All right,” I say regretfully.

Her eyes soften as she looks at me again. “Thank you so much for spending time with me today, Adrian. I had a really, really wonderful time with you.”

“I did too.”

“I hope our paths cross again.”

I nod. “I hope so, too. Goodbye, Becca. Good luck.”

“Goodbye, Adrian.”

I turn and quickly walk away before I say something I’ll regret. Goddamn it. I know I can’t make her stay—but still. It pierces me to the bone, having to walk away from her like this.

I can feel her watching me as the distance grows between us. But I refuse to let myself turn around. I reach my truck, get in, and slam the door shut. As I drive home, all I can think about is how I’ll never find another Becca.

She’s engraved in my heart now, and no other woman will ever compare.

Back at the house, I work through my evening chores with distraction, falling into bed at a late hour. That night, my sleep is ravaged with dreams of Becca. By morning, I’m a tortured man, seeing and feeling her all around me.

I can’t let her leave. I can’t.

But even though I’ve woken before the rooster crows, I can feel that it’s too late. I rush back to town, driving straight to the B&B to find her, but as I feared, she’s already gone.

Chapter Five

Becca

The following hours on the road turn into days; the days become weeks. The road ahead of me feels endless, a ribbon of grey that I chase relentlessly. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel regret over leaving Adrian. When I was around him, it was like something was awakened in me that’s been asleep my entire life.

And now it feels like I left a piece of myself behind.

It’s not like I could have stayed there with him, though. How would that have even worked? Anyway, even if he’d asked me to stay, I don’t think I could have said yes. I’m not done with this trip yet. I need more time. More miles. More space to think.

And I can only do that on my own.

Every day I push further and further toward Acadia National Park. I don’t know why it’s become so important for me to see it. But for some reason, I feel like if I can get there, everything will make sense.

The more I drive, the more appreciation I feel for my surroundings. I travel through more small towns—many smaller than Adrian’s—and bigger cities, too. I eat meals at homey diners, but also treat myself to some fancier places along the way. I take in the sights and have brief but soul-enriching conversations with strangers everywhere I go.

But none of the people I meet affect me the way Adrian did.

Five days later,I set off from a roadside hotel at dawn, knowing today is the day I’ll reach Acadia. I take my time, knowing there’s no rush. I have no idea what will happen once I get there, but I just keep moving forward, trusting my instinct.

When I drive into the empty camping area, anxiety is nibbling at my stomach. I feel a little dizzy, like I’m just about to step in front of the camera. I leave the car in the lot and let the crisp mountain air whip across my cheeks as I head up toward a lookout.

As I crest the small, rocky hill, the far peaks come into view and I’m momentarily stunned into stillness.

I sit down on a big, flat rock and stare out at the peaks. It’s still early and the morning sun is tinting everything gold. While I watch the scene unfold, a hawk sweeps across the sky high above me. He cries out into the wind and tears fill my eyes.

I realize now that I’ve lived in the city for so long that it’s almost as if a part of me died. But now, sitting here in the incredible wilderness, I can feel my soul being revived. I can feel my true self rising back to the surface—the version of me that existed before I got lost chasing after something that I don’t even want anymore.

But if I no longer want to be an actor, if I no longer care about making a name for myself…then whatdoI want?

The answer comes instantly to me: I want love. I want a family. I want Adrian.

He’s the only one I want and will ever want.

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