Page 9 of Can't Have Him

“Wait, Olivia—”

But she’s already thrown open my office door. I get up and go after her, but when I step out of my office, she has the other girl by the arm and the two of them are hurrying down the hall.

“Olivia!” I call out.

“Leave her alone, asshole,” her friend shouts back.

Despondently, I retreat into my office, closing the door behind me. My mouth feels bitter from the lie I just told. But it had to be done.

Chapter Five

Olivia

Ispend the next six weeks laser-focused on school. Because as it turns out, it’s not just my Art History grade that’s been slipping. Somehow I hadn’t realized it, but the distraction of James has been affecting my other grades, too.

So even though I’m absolutely appalled by what he admitted to me, I’m glad that he told me.

It’s the wake-up call I need.

For this second half of the semester, I also decide to mix up my studying routine. It’s like giving myself a fresh start, you know? So instead of doing schoolwork at the apartment, I start experimenting with different places on campus.

The first place I try out is one of the libraries closest to the edge of campus—one of the most popular spots for students to study. And though it’s pretty quiet, there’s constant activity around me, and I just can’t ever get fully submerged into the reading I have to do. I try a few other places after that, too, but none of them are quite right, either.

“You sound like Goldilocks,” says Emma when I tell her about it, and I laugh, realizing she’s right.

And finally, after a little more trial and error, I find my perfect place: a small, old science library that’s reliably empty and quiet. It’s so cozy there that even after hours of studying, I don’t want to leave.

But leave I must: I have meals to eat, showers to take, hours to sleep, classes to go to. And so, every evening, I reluctantly pack up my things and head out.

* * *

I’m headinghome from the library one night, cutting across campus, when I see Liam. He’s easy to spot because he’s wearing that bright red sweatshirt that’s easily his favorite piece of clothing. Sometimes, when we were together, I would put it on and just soak up his smell.

Now, of course, you couldn’t pay me to wear the stupid thing.

Liam is standing outside of one of the lecture halls with a few other guys. They’re laughing about something. One of them slaps Liam on the back.

Then Liam takes a step to the side, and I realize that there’s a girl standing beside him. And then—as if this moment is meant just for me—she leans over and kisses his cheek, and he looks over at her and kisses her on the mouth while the other guys hoot in encouragement.

I’m not jealous of the girl. I’m really not. But I also can’t witness that and not be affected by it. Bitterly, I wonder whether Liam had this girl already in mind when he broke things off with me. Or whether she’s just one of a bunch of poor girls he’s gone through since he decided he “wanted to see what else is out there.”

I feel a drop of rain land on my nose and pick up my pace, quickly moving out of sight of Liam. I’m barely halfway across campus when the drizzle turns into a downpour. Suddenly the bricks beneath my feet are slick, and between the rain coming down so hard and it being dark out, I can barely see where I’m going.

Half-blindly, I hurry back toward my apartment. But as I’m taking the last set of stairs near the edge of campus, I slip and go tumbling down to the ground.

“Are you okay?”

I nod and struggle to stand up. A pair of strong hands helps me, and I find myself thanking the stranger before I look up into his face.

When I do, I find James’s eyes looking back at me.

He lets go of my arm.

“Sorry,” he says, wiping water from his face. “I didn’t realize it was you. This rain is nuts.”

“I know,” I say. I start to walk away, but when I put weight on my right foot, pain shoots up my leg. “Ow. Shit.”

“Is your foot okay?”

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