Page 54 of The Trouble With Her (The Forbidden Love 4)

The expected silence is loud and unapologetic. I hear a rustle, then Andy releases a breath.

“Is that what she said?”

“Yes, is it true?”

“What does it matter now?”

“It matters, okay?” I persist. “Is it true, Andy?”

“Yes.”

I try to think of something appropriate to say, but my mind wants answers more than anything. Between the small mention of him standing in front of me but unable to have me, to now this, it’s a lot to take in. Life would’ve turned out very differently if this honesty had been conveyed two years ago.

“Why didn’t you say anything two years ago?”

“Why?” His tone changes, laced with frustration. “I tried, Jessa. But you pushed me away. Then, you ran off to London and came back engaged.”

My chest caves in, knowing I’m so much to blame for this. I did run away because I was scared. But now, I have this life and a son I can’t imagine life without. The push-pull of regret is a constant battle, the eternal ‘what-ifs’ playing like a broken record.

“You still could’ve told me,” I whisper.

“I kissed you, but you still walked away. I can’t fight for someone who didn’t feel the same in return.”

I nod, even though he can’t see, willing the pain inside my chest to disappear.

“I should go to sleep,” is all I say.

Andy releases a heavy sigh. “Good night, Jessa.”

The call ends, so I place my phone on the nightstand and turn the lamp off. As I lay in the dark, alone with my thoughts, the chain around my heart begins to loosen. For the longest time, I’d buried certain things, and my feelings toward Andy are beneath it all.

My hands reach out for my phone again, but this time I text.

Me:I ran to London because I was scared of how I felt about you. I was scared you wouldn’t feel the same way, or if you did, we would ruin what we had.

Andy:The timing wasn’t on our side. A wise man told me timing is everything.

Me:Who’s the wise man you speak of?

Andy:Noah Mason.

Me:Of course, he would say that… good night, Andy.

Andy:Good night, Jessa.

With my phone still in my hand, I decide there’s a call I need to make. So, I dial his number, hoping he’ll pick up since it’s midday in California.

“Jessa? Is everything okay?”

“Dad?” I call softly while toying with the edge of my bed sheet. “I’m sorry about everything that happened between us.”

The weight of Dad’s sigh is enough to tell me he’s relieved to hear those words. I missed him so much, and nothing or no one can ever replace the void of which only your father can fill.

“Jessa, I only wanted the best for you.”

“I know. I miss you, Dad.”

“I miss you too, sweetheart. More than you know.”

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