Page 32 of Captivated By Danger

“You were trying to sneak by and not say nothing to your grandmother.”

“No, Grams.”

I had no choice but to follow her in the kitchen where my mother was preparing to start dinner.

“Hi, Mom.”

“Hey, Grey. How was work?”

I tightened my arm on my bag as if they could see through my bag.

“It was okay.”

“You sure? I got word that you been off at work this week. It wouldn’t have anything to do with what happened at the engagement party, would it?”

“Who is running their mouth to you about me? I am fine.”

“Don’t sass your mother, Greysen,” Grams warned.

“And even if I wasn’t okay, who would be after hearing that your ex-husband is marrying your cousin on the day their child died? Am I the only one who feels like that is weird?”

They both kept their lips together. They would always be silent when I would talk about the loss of my child. They were helping me grieve for all of two months before they said that they didn’t understand the postpartum depression. When I fell into a deep depression, they told me that I should pray my way out of it. My grams said that’s what her mother taught her, so my mom had no choice. They’d even once blamed me for my own depression because they said I wasn’t even trying to be happy. That may have been kind of true, but I tried. My brain just wasn’t having it.

“Oh, so y’all think it’s weird too. I’m not sorry for still feeling the hurt three years later. Apparently, Kyle feels the same way because he approached me apologetically. I didn’t throw myself at him, if either of you are wondering.”

“Throwing yourself at who?” my dad walked in the kitchen.

“Kyle.”

“Grey,” my dad sighed.

He walked over to my mom and greeted her with a kiss to the top of her head.

“No. It wasn’t anything like that, I promise.”

He walked over and kissed me on the top of my head.

“Good.”

“Mom,” he spoke curtly to Grams before leaving the kitchen.

When they started speaking to each other, I quietly left the kitchen and went to my room. Talking about my child always made them want to change the subject. In my room, I stared at my bag with the manual in it. I’m not going to lie, it felt good to know that Diesel was thinking about me a little. I didn’t like that he’d sent Mona and Rozay to me like I was some cheap prostitute. I wondered where he was and why I wasn’t important enough for him to bring his big head ass to me himself.

It was a little after ten and I was in the bed full of my mom’s famous lasagna and garlic bread, showered, and moisturized. I’d taken the manual out of my bag, but I’d kept it on my nightstand. Even in the dark, it seemed as if it was burning a hole inside of me. I’d even texted him when I’d gotten out of the shower, letting him know that I wasn’t feeling him sending his agents to come and talk to me. There wasn’t a response, but I was sure he’d read it.

“Okay. Just one page,” I’d whispered as if the booklet had told me personally to open it.

Climbing out of the bed, I grabbed the manual off my nightstand and went over to my desk, clicking the lamp on. Under my desk was my old ass college micro fridge that held my alcohol. I used to keep them in the fridge in the kitchen, but my mother and Grams thought I was becoming an alcoholic. I rubbed my fingers down the leather before I opened it. The paper was thick. Scanning the first page, I scoffed so hard that I nearly choked.

“The chosen one? He’s so fucking annoying.”

Scanning the next page, it had a list of kinks to choose from. It was like a school test, telling me to circle which kinks that I’d be interested in or had tried before, if any. It was so many of them to choose from. There were so many to choose from. Luckily there was a link to type in, so I wouldn’t be searching all over the place. At least they weren’t lying when they said he was very thorough.

An hour had gone by, and I was still engrossed with the many kinks that were out there. The website he sent me to even had small videos to demonstrate them. I’d considered myself to be very vanilla. There were a few times that Kyle would come home drunk and fuck the hell out of me, calling me bitches and sluts, and I was kind of ashamed to admit that I was slightly turned on. There was maybe even a slap or two and a hair pull in there, and it had me soaked. That type of sex came few, far, and in between. There were a few of them that made my clit twitch at the thought of Diesel performing them. I couldn’t believe that I’d chosen more than five of them. I made sure to bookmark that page, so I could come back to it in case I decided to add more to the list.

On the next page, my eyes grew wide at the long list of his kinks, telling me to cross out the ones that I would absolutely not be willing to try. Going back to the page I’d bookmarked, I lined up our kinks and surprisingly, we liked a few of the same kinks. After refreshing my memory on the rest of his kinks, I didn’t have to cross any of them out. A couple of them, I’d put a small question mark next to as a reminder to ask a couple questions about them.

On the next page were several appointment cards copied on a piece of paper; one being for the OB/GYN, an appointment that was scheduled for Friday morning along with an appointment with my primary care physician that afternoon. The OB/GYN was understandable because he wanted to check me for STDs, but that was one thing he didn’t have to worry about. When I found out about Perris and Kyle, I immediately went and got checked for everything because I’d found out that Perris’ boyfriend broke up with her because she was cheating.

---