Page 168 of Captivated By Danger

“It is yours, isn’t it?”

I didn’t have to ask her what she was talking about because I already knew.

“Yes. As far as I know.”

“What does that mean?”

“Up until this afternoon, I thought I was sterile. I had multiple surgeries to correct it and they never worked, so, I didn’t know… still don’t know how it happened.”

“So, youdowant kids?”

She was looking at me, but I couldn’t look at her.

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Diesel.”

“You know any decent man wants to be a father. It’s one of our greatest legacies.”

“No. Your greatest legacy is going to be Chief Financial Officer at Danger Headquarters and how you and your family manage to own and operate hundreds of hotels— and being Black while doing it. When people go into the hospitality business, they are going to have to read about your family. That is your legacy. Not a child, especially when you’ve mixed bloodlines with a crazy lady who will stand in front of a car getting ready to take off.”

I looked at her and she was staring at the ceiling, smiling. When she blinked, a tear slipped down the side of her face.

“Greysen, I don’t want this. I don’t want her to be my child’s mother. Shit, I still haven’t processed it. I’m still trying to figure out why now.”

“I can’t be mad. She was before me, but…”

“Wait. Before you finish what you were about to say, let me say what I have to say. I had a whole speech ready for you as soon as I left the doctor’s office because I was selfish at first. And then I got to the school and saw that nigga in your face and almost lost my cool, and then that shit had me thinking, so I readjusted my speech. And then you waltzed your pretty ass in that restaurant and said fuck it, I’ll just go back to the first speech. The worst you could say was no and I’d just have to live with it. Every time I tried to bring it up, you would change the conversation.”

“I just wanted to live in that fantasy. That fantasy where a hot girl is accosted for a date with a rich hot guy and they have hot, sweaty, nasty sex afterwards. I did that and I still feel… I don’t know. Please tell me how you were going to try and convince me to stay with you.”

I chuckled. “You think you know me, don’t you? My immediate thoughts after finding out that I had enough live sperm to procreate were this: I almost sent Denim a text to round up a couple of top custody lawyers so I could start making custody arrangements to get full custody and you and I could be full time parents to the child. As I was typing out the text, I realized how stupid I sounded, making decisions for Rachel, making decisions for you, and not even knowing how you would feel about it.”

She swiped at her eyes.

“Another selfish thought was me thinking that maybe you could be… and we would still have to deal. I’d never had a selfish thought like that in my life, not even knowing if you wanted to even go through that again. I imagine your nerves and anxiety would be high. Rolling up at the school and seeing that nigga in your face and the way I reacted had me embarrassed like shit. I’d never stared nobody down like that. Then I’m thinking, she’s twenty-six, with one failed marriage, you probably wouldn’t want to be locked down anyway, at least not right now. It would be selfish of me to try and take away your young years like that just because my old ass let your young ass turn me out like that.”

She laughed.

“And I sit here and look at you now, crying, it’s hurting me, Greysen. And that’s how I know I love you. I care about your feelings. There are so many stupid handwritten apology notes balled up in the trash because I wanted it to be perfect for you. You make me genuinely laugh. I have a fucking primal urge and need to protect you. This past week was so hard looking at people fuck with you in the comments, but that picture you posted in my Rolls was funny as hell man.”

“Honestly, people that do not know me can’t hurt my feelings.”

“That’s good. You’re like an influencer now.”

“Not hardly.”

I grabbed her hand, pressing my lips against the back of her hand.

“With the shit that I’m about to go through, there is no way that I can ask you to stick around for that. This is new for me. Being a dad is going to be new for me. Too much change at one time, something or someone is bound to get ignored. I don’t want to do that to you, Greysen. Plus, you should probably date… other people. So, um…” My throat started to get tight.

The words were caught in the back of my throat. She looked at me and palmed my cheek.

“Rain check on the five dates?”

I nodded my head. “Just for now. No bullshit, Grey. Just until I’m situated into fatherhood. A year. Maybe Less. Granted, I am the father. I’m still on the fence.”

“But you’re excited. I hear it in your voice,” she muttered. “That’s good, you’re excited.”

Her voice was raspy, so I knew what was getting ready to come next. When she tried to get up, I grabbed her.

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