Page 16 of Captivated By Danger

“Please,” I cried. “Just check. Check and see.”

The room was silent as I watched them look at my baby. They didn’t have to tell me that my child was dead.

“It’s a girl. A beautiful girl. Would you like to see her?”

I shook my head profusely. After pushing out the placenta, I was done. I wanted to be left alone. Dr. York walked over to the nurse, and I’d heard her whisper something about a psych consult.

“I don’t need a psych consult! Just stop talking to me! Everybody, get out!”

Elle kissed my forehead before leaving.

Across the room, my deceased child laid in the little bed, wrapped as if she was alive.

That was the worst day of my life.

To make it worse, Kyle showed up hours later, apologetic. The doctor told me that I didn’t do anything wrong. Somehow the baby twisted and put a knot into the umbilical cord. It was something that I couldn’t have prevented no matter how I slept or turned. That didn’t make me feel any better. I just wanted to be left alone, so after he looked at the baby, I’d put him out. The psych doctor came in and told me that I’d regret it if I didn’t see my baby or tell her goodbye. Elle was able to talk me into it and it was so emotional. She was beautiful and had a head full of hair. I couldn’t even bring myself to name her. The only good thing Kyle did after that was take care of the cremation arrangements.

Afterwards, I’d completely lost myself. I’d stop doing everything that once made me happy. Kyle was aware that I’d blamed him for everything and was asked to stay out of my way. All I did was eat, sleep, and barely shower. That’s when my cousin moved in and was supposed to be helping me around the house but instead was helping herself to my husband.

Yesterday was the last day that I would let them make me embarrass myself. Crying with my best friend on a nasty bathroom floor was the lowest I would go over them. Yesterday proved to me that Kyle never loved me or even care a little bit about me. That’s what letting Perris move their wedding date to the day our daughter died told me. I’d decided in that very moment that I was done. A switch had been flipped inside of me.

This morning, I’d gotten me a very hydrating facial. It seemed as if she’d taken the last couple years off my face. I looked less wrinkly. After the facial, I’d gotten a full body wax. I hadn’t had a wax in years, so I was in there trying to hold my screams in, even though I considered myself to have a high pain tolerance. After I was done there, I stopped in the shopping center and grabbed some body stuff, a nice outfit, and a pair of shoes. I glided about the shopping center as if I was floating on air. I wasn’t thinking about anything. My mind was completely blank. I was even offering smiles to people first. After I’d used a good chunk of my savings pampering myself, I’d come home and jumped in the tub with the jets on full speed. My hair was wrapped tight as I laid back, sipping on some cheap Moscato wine that my mom had on her shelf. Normally, I had some music going to busy my mind, but tonight it was peace and quiet. The only sounds that could be heard were the roaring of the jets.

When my phone vibrated against the porcelain, I sat up to see that Elle had sent me a text.‘Just checking on you, girlie. Hadn’t heard from you all day.’Is what the text said, making me smile. She’d be happy to know that I had a self-care day, and I was going to end my night hanging out at The Juke Box. It’s where the older people hung out at on the weekends. I was for sure guaranteed a good time there.

After finally getting out of the tub, I oiled myself down with a vanilla body oil and a cashmere body butter. I smelled warm and sensual in April. The dress that I bought this morning was a nice little wrap around dress with a string that I pulled tight around my waist, giving the illusion that my waist was smaller than it was, and a split going up my thigh a little. The Juke Box was walking distance, so I opted for my sparkly flats. I’d done a light beat before combing my hair down. For the first time in a long time, I’d smiled when looking at myself in the mirror.

The Juke Box was the type of place where most people came to unwind. You knew that you would get good food and hear great old school music. All the workers were required to be nice. Seldomly, the security had to throw out someone who had drunk too much. Other than that, the place was good vibes. I’d been here for over an hour watching the live band play while sipping on some wine and eating some good chicken wings. Sitting in the corner, I people-watched, sometimes stopping on a handsome man. In the crowd of people, I noticed Quinci. We locked eyes before she smiled and waved. I was going to invite her to my table before her husband and another man walked up to her. The other man looked exactly like her husband, so that had to be his brother. My eyes then connected with a brown-skinned bald man who I’d caught eying me a couple of times.

While checking him out, my view was obstructed by my ex-husband, who was looking at me with wide eyes before making his way toward me. I closed my eyes hoping he’d be a figment of my imagination. There was no way my ex-husband could be walking towards me because I knew that the God I served wouldn’t do that to me. On the day I’d finally decided to put myself first, God would not allow the man who’s hurt me to my core to have the audacity to approach me.

“Greysen. Hey.” I opened my eyes to see him standing next to my table. He’d rested his hand on the back of his neck. “Um, surprised to see you here.”

My blood started to boil, but I’d promised myself that I wasn’t going to make a fool out of myself no more regarding him. I sat there, still, with my eyes closed, hoping he’d just go away.

“I’m actually glad I ran into you.” He invited himself to sit across from me. “You have to know that I didn’t have anything to do with the… the date of the… you know,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Say it, Kyle. Say what it is. You are getting married on the day of your daughter’s death.”

“Yeah. I… Grey, you know I’d never do that. That was my child too.”

My jaws automatically clenched. I tried to inhale and exhale inconspicuously, so he wouldn’t know that he was getting to me.

“Kyle… I am going to ask you to leave my table. Nicely.”

“Can we have a civil conversation, Grey? I mean… it looks like you’re in a good space. Hair and make-up done. Dressed nice. You look—”

“No. No. No, Kyle, wecan’thave a civil conversation. You don’t get to try and clear your conscience for the messed-up stuff you did to me. The day our child died. What you did following the day our child died. No, Kyle. I don’t ever have to talk to you again.”

Reaching into my purse, I pulled out three twenties, placing them on the table.

I stood, watching his eyes roll down my body as I pulled my dress down. “Goodbye, Kyle.”

When I walked by him, he’d turned his body all the way around, watching me. I prayed that he wasn’t following me.

“Greysen,” he called after me.

Ignoring him, I continued toward the door.

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