Page 68 of Sexy Dirty Fun

“That’s right,” he said, nodding his head and turning the page of the newspaper. “It’s a shame you broke up. Your mother thought he was the love of your life.”

I looked up at him. I opened my mouth to say something, but I wasn’t sure what. “She said that?” I finally managed to ask.

He closed his paper. “Yes, she told me to watch out for you and that she was sad she wouldn’t be able to see you be with the love of your life.” His eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to tell you that sooner.”

I hopped up off of my chair and went to him, hugging him from behind. “It’s okay, Daddy. I know you had a hard time losing Mom.”

He reached up and clasped the arms around his neck. “She wanted you to have what we had. She said she could tell by the way you talked about him that he was your one.”

“But what about Zach?” I whispered.

“Do you love him?” Dad asked. I removed my arms from around his neck and went back to sit down.

“I do, but I don’t know if I’min lovewith him.” I looked at my hands on the table in front of me. “I know that I could be very happy with him. He treats me well and loves me. I have no doubt he would give me a good life. He’s been pushing me to move in with him.”

“But you’re hesitating? That should be a sign right there, Linds,” he said softly.

He was right. If I wasn’t jumping at the idea of moving in with Zach, something wasn’t right. I was going to have to end it now before things went any further.

“Do you miss LA?” He asked.

I hesitated a minute. “I do, Dad. I didn’t realize how much until I went back,” I admitted.

“You should go back. I’ll be okay here,” he said.

My editor at Rolling Stone was constantly harassing me to come back. He gave me work, but there was only so much music reporting I could do from Madison. I could stay with Rebecca until I got another place. It was tempting.

“I don’t know, Dad. Are you sure?” I asked. He was better; I could see that, but I didn’t want to go back to LA only for him to have a relapse.

He leaned over and clasped my hand with his. “I’m sure. You’re too young to take care of me. You need to go live your dreams in LA.” He let go of my hands and leaned back in the chair. “And be with this Cane fellow you mother told me about.”

Going back to LA I could do but I wasn’t so sure about being with Cane again. There was so much history and pain. “Cane and I have had a rough start. I’m not sure we’re really meant to be together.”

“Nothing worth having is easy,” he said. “Your mom and I struggled in the beginning. Her parents hated me. They were from old money and I didn’t have any. We had to sneak around to be together. It wasn’t until I got your mother pregnant that they finally let us be together.”

I always wondered about my parents’ early years. My grandma had made a few comments that made me think they didn’t always approve of my Dad, but this was all news to me, especially that Mom was pregnant with David before they got married.

“Wow, Dad. I had no idea.”

“Thankfully I had scholarships to college, but your Mom and I struggled for a long time. We fought and sometimes I wondered if we would make it. When the dust settled and I calmed down, I realized I couldn’t life without your mom. She was the very air I breathed.” A tear escaped, sliding down his cheek. “That’s why it’s so hard to be without her now.”

I reached for this hand and squeezed it tight. I didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need me to. He was better but he still missed her like crazy and he probably always would. I wasn’t so sure you ever recover from a love like that.

I got up and got him a tissue from the counter. He blew his nose and smiled at me. “That’s why you have to think long and hard about being with Zach or Cane. Maybe Cane isn’t it, but from what you’re telling me about Zach, he might not be either.”

“Right.” I had some serious thinking to do. “I’m going to go shower and call Zach. We need to talk.”

He stood up and wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. “Good luck, Linds. Remember to follow your heart and you can’t go wrong.”

“Thanks, Dad,” I said and kissed his cheek before going upstairs. I found my phone and sent Zach a quick text. He was supposed to get off of work soon, so I asked him if I could come over to talk.

Sometimes I did my best thinking in the shower, so I turned the water on hot and got in. Dad was right; if I had to think about moving in with Zach, he probably wasn’t ‘the one’. After the other night, I knew Cane still loved me; did I owe it to myself to see if we could make things work?

I was going to deal with one thing at a time. First, I had to break up with Zach, then get back to LA. I would worry about Cane when I got there.

I had a voicemail from Zach when I got out of the shower telling me to come over when I was ready. I put on some jeans and T-shirt, throwing my hair up into a messy bun. I was so nervous and felt like I was going to throw up all over. I let Dad know I was going over there and took off for his apartment.

I parked the car and went to his door. I took a deep breath and was about to knock when he opened the door, greeting me with a big smile. He was wearing sweats and a Wisconsin Badger t-shirt, his hair still wet from his shower.

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