Page 63 of Sexy Dirty Fun

My heart broke for him when I read about how bad the album did and the band breaking up. It ached when I saw the drunken pictures of him hitting rock bottom. I wanted to save him, but I knew him; he wasn’t going to listen to me.

He disappeared from the tabloids for a bit and that’s when I started seeing Zach. When it came out that he was clean and sober now and starting a record label with Diesel, I was so happy for him. Life was so different now for both of us.

Writing the book for Rolling Stone about my time as a music journalist was the opportunity of a lifetime but when it came to my time with Cane, I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to put in there. Everyone knew we dated; we hadn’t kept it a secret and had our fair share of our pictures in tabloids.

After some late-night calls to my editor and Rebecca, I decided to be honest. This was also the reason I freaked out when Zach wanted to read my book. It revealed details of my life I hadn’t shared with him yet.

Now my two worlds were colliding. Despite my protests, Zach had insisted on coming with me to LA. I couldn’t keep him away without raising suspicion. It wasn’t fair to him either; he was being the good, supportive boyfriend he always was.

My hands were shaking as I applied my make-up. I had decided on a simple black strapless dress and thigh high black leather boots. I wore my long auburn hair pinned back on the sides. Zach hadn’t been able to keep his hands off of me when he saw me and we ended up having a quickie on the bathroom counter. I loved how he seemed so reserved but could be such a naughty boy when we were alone.

I finished my make-up and was surveying myself in the mirror when my phone dinged. I looked down and saw I had a text from Rebecca.

Are you nervous?

I glanced toward the door,listening for Zach. All I could hear was the news he had playing on the hotel TV. I typed back a quick response.

Yes,I’m nervous as fuck. What if I see him?

“Lindsey,are you ready? It’s almost nine. We should probably go,” Zach called to me.

“Be out in a sec,” I replied, setting my phone back down. I applied a thin coat of lip gloss and wiped my sweaty palms on my dress. I was as ready as I was going to be. Hopefully I didn’t barf from nerves before we even got there.

When I came out of the bathroom, Zach was sitting on the edge of the bed in front of the TV, the remote in his hands. He was engrossed in some show on the Discovery channel and didn’t even notice me. I stood there for a second and waited, finally clearing my throat. He turned his head to look at me, he dropped the remote, his mouth open. “Wow, Lindsey, you look amazing.”

I didn’t wear much make up on but for tonight I went all out like I used to when I went to parties in LA. “It’s not too much?” I asked and walked over to him. He reached for me and pulled me down so I was sitting on his lap, his arm around my waist.

“Hell no,” he said, his other hand sliding up my thigh. “Maybe we should both skip the party,” he winked at me and his hand disappeared under my skirt. He slid a finger over my slit and I gasped.

“It’s tempting,” I said and leaned my head against his. Getting lost in Zach tonight seemed a lot safer than potentially running into Cane.

He removed his hand and patted my thigh. “But we can’t. They’re expecting you.” Sometimes it sucked having a boyfriend that was so responsible. If I suggested to Cane we stay in and fuck instead of going to a stuffy industry party, he wouldn’t have to think twice. I mentally shook my head. I shouldn’t think about Cane so much anymore, especially when I was sitting on Zach’s lap.

He squeezed me close. “I’m really proud of you, Lindsey.” He looked up at me and smiled.

“Thank you,” I said softly and wrapped both arms around his neck. He was so comfortable and easy to be with. It was effortless with Zach and that was why I liked him.

“I know we have to go, but I wanted to ask you something,” he said, his hand on my knee while his thumb rubbed in small circles.

“Sure,” I said, my heart started to pound. Was he going to ask me about my life in LA or Cane? I hadn’t let him read the book yet either as I knew it would probably raise questions I wasn’t ready to answer yet.

“We’ve been together eight months now. I love you and I would like you to move in with me,” he said quickly in one breath.

I was totally caught off guard by his question; I hadn’t expected that at all. “What about my dad?” I asked.

“He’s doing better Lindsey and you can’t stay with him forever. I don’t live that far from him and you could still check on him all the time. I think he’s ready.”

He was right. Dad was doing better but I wasn’t sure if I was ready to move in with Zach. I sat there in silence.

“Listen,” he said firmly, reaching up to touch my cheek with a finger and moving my face so I was looking at him. “I know you’ve been hurt in the past. Even though you won’t share with me many details, I can tell. I promise you Lindsey I will never hurt you like those other guys will. You have to let me in though.”

My eyes filled with tears. He was right. I hadn’t been fair to him and had kept a wall up around my heart. “I know you won’t,” I sniffled, trying hard not to wreck my make-up. “I’ll seriously think about it, I promise. We can talk about it more when we get back to Madison.”

“Deal,” he leaned in and kissed my cheek. “Now let’s go.” He patted my ass until I stood up. “I want to go show off my fucking hot girlfriend.”

I laughed and he pulled me against him, leaning down to kiss my forehead. “Every guy is going to be jealous that I have the sexiest girl there.”

“I don’t know about that. You’ve never been to one of these parties before. Compared to some, I’ll be overdressed.” I grabbed my small handbag and made sure it had my lipstick and cell phone.

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