Page 61 of Sexy Dirty Fun

He picked up his phone and ordered us sandwiches from our favorite deli nearby that delivered. While he was talking, I couldn’t help but stare at the picture on his desk of his wedding day. He looked so happy. Would I ever find happiness like that again?

Diesel hung up the phone and caught me looking at the picture. He leaned forward, putting his elbows on his desk. “Tracy actually had texted me about you earlier. She has a friend she wants you to take to the party tomorrow night.”

I smiled and rolled my eyes. Not another one. “Tell her thanks, but I’m not going to the Rolling Stone party. You know I hate those things.”

“Cane,” he said with a sigh. “You have to go. It’s good for business. I can’t schmooze alone. I’ve had some people asking if you were going to be there and I told them yes.”

“I never said I was going.” I had become somewhat of a recluse in LA since I was back. Being in those social settings wasn’t always the best for my recovery. The fact that I hated the whole scene made me laugh because I used to be the center of the party. I guess I had grown up.

“I need you there, man,” he said softly. “I suck at talking to people and you’re so good at it.”

After everything Diesel had done for me, I couldn’t say no. “Ok, fine,” I said and held up my hands. “But no set ups. I’m going stag.”

“Agree,” Diesel laughed. “I’ll tell Tracy.”

“Thanks.” For my friend, I would go for a little bit and shake the right hands and say hi to the right people. We used to be rock gods, but this business was cut throat and we got no handouts now that we were trying to get our own record label off the ground.

The rest of the day flew by and I was on my way home when I popped my head into Diesel’s office. “I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow. Say hi to Tracy for me.”

“Oh hey, Cane, wait,” he called out to me as I started to leave.

“What’s up?” I asked, walking into his office. He was holding his phone again but this time he wasn’t smiling.

“I got a text from Tracy.” He looked at the chair in front of his desk. “Maybe you should sit down.”

“What’s wrong?” I asked with a dry mouth as I pulled out a chair and sat down. “Is Tracy ok?”

“Nothing is wrong and Tracy’s fine,” he said. “I’m not sure how she found this out, but apparently Lindsey is going to be at the party tomorrow night.”

“So?” I said, trying to sound like it didn’t matter. “I haven’t seen her in three years. It’s no big deal.”

Diesel shook his head. “I’m not sure who you’re trying to convince more – me or yourself.” He leaned forward and peered at me. “This is me you’re talking to. I know how you still feel about her. You can skip the party if you want.”

“It’s fine,” I replied and ran my hand through my hair. “There will be a lot of people there. What’s the chance that we will even run into each other really?” I wasn’t going to be a chicken shit and not go to the party now because of her. I couldn’t let her have that power over me.

“Are you sure?” He asked, concern written all over his face. “You don’t have to pretend with me.”

“Why is she even going to be there? I haven’t heard her name in the music business in years and I know she doesn’t write for Rolling Stone anymore.” I stopped talking, waiting for him to ask me how I knew that.

“She wrote a book about the music business and Rolling Stone helped her get it published,” he said quickly.

“Holy shit,” I muttered. I could only imagine what she had to say about me.

“I know,” he replied. “Tracy is reaching out to her contacts to get a copy.” Tracy worked in PR in LA and she knew everyone in town. If anyone could get her hands on that book, it was her.

“I’m sure she has some great things to say in there about the roller coaster I took her on,” I said with a wry smile. Whatever she said, I deserved it.

“My guess it can’t be too bad or Rolling Stone wouldn’t support it, but who knows.” He picked up a pen and started playing with it. “Are yousureyou still want to go?”

“Yeah,” I said and stood up. “It will be fine.” I gave him a half-hearted smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Good night,” he said as I walked out of his office.

I walked out to the car in the dark LA night, thinking about the times Lindsey and I laid into bed and talked. She would joke about a house in the suburbs and a couple of kids but there were times like tonight I wished I had that to go home to instead of my lonely apartment.

I couldn’t tell Diesel, but I was actually excited at the chance to run into her tomorrow night. Maybe I could even steal a few minutes to talk to her. She had to know by now that Destiny didn’t have my baby. I wanted to show her how much I had changed. I even had a small glimmer of hope that she missed me like I did her and would want me back.

I was getting ahead of myself. There was also the chance she would bring a date. I couldn’t think about that. The very thought of another man touching her made my blood boil. It would be crazy to think that a great girl like her wouldn’t be with someone new by now.

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