Page 33 of Sexy Dirty Fun

“What do you say, Lindsey? I don’t want to go to bed alone tonight and you look like you could use some comforting.” His eyelids were hooded slightly and his speech was slurred. I wasn’t surprised; he drank more than his fair share of the wine tonight. I only had half a glass so I didn’t get weak and let my defenses down. I didn’t make the best choices about men when I’ve been drinking. Case in point when I called Drew to my room - I was pretty loaded.

“Drew,” I said firmly, pulling my arm away. “I have a headache and I’m tired. Thanks for dinner, but I want to take a long hot shower and go to bed.”

He scowled and stepped back. “I thought we had a good time, Lindsey. Why do you have to be such a cunt now?”

I winced at his words. “We did have a good time, but I told you I’m not ready to be with anyone right now. The last few days have been a whirlwind and I need some time alone.”

“Whatever. You don’t like me because I’m not a rock star. Well, let me tell you, these rock stars wouldn’t be where they are now if not for me. There are plenty of women that would love to be with me. You’re loss.” He turned on his heel and took off towards the elevator.

I unlocked the door with a shake of my head. I could add Drew to the growing list of men angry with me. I threw my purse on the bed and sat down with a sigh.

I may be a glutton for punishment, but I wanted to talk to Cane one more time - if he would even see me. Maybe he pushed me away because he was scared about not being able to walk. If he saw I would be there for him, maybe he would be nicer.

I called down to the front desk and had them get me a cab. I would regret it if I left town without at least trying to talk to him. He consumed my every thought. In the dark of night in my hotel bed I would remember the way his lips felt on my skin and touch myself until I gasped his name when I came. In the shower, I would cry for what had happened to him and the anger in his voice when he told me to leave. I wondered what he would do if he couldn’t be Cane Stephens, the lead singer of Hookers and Hand Grenades.

I went to the lobby of the hotel, hoping I didn’t run into Drew. The last thing I needed was for him to catch me going out when I told him I wanted to take a long shower and go to bed. I managed to get into the cab without anyone seeing me. The closer I got to the hospital, the more I began to regret my decision to go. I must have been crazy to think he would suddenly want to see me.

The cab pulled up to the door and I paid the driver. As I was heading inside, a familiar voice called out to me. “I wouldn’t go in there if I was you.”

I stopped in my tracks as the sliding door opened and turned to the direction the voice was coming from. There stood Cane’s best friend Diesel smoking a cigarette. He looked tired and stressed out.

“Hello, Diesel,” I said, walking over to him.

“Hi,” he said and took a long drag on his cigarette, his eyes never leaving mine. He blew out his smoke. “What brings you here? It can’t be to see Cane.”

“I wanted to talk see if he would talk to me.” I looked down. “The tour starts back up tomorrow.”

“I know,” he replied.

“Can you go ask him if he’ll talk to me?” I asked hopefully. I didn’t really want to talk about the fact that the tour was moving on without them. I’m sure it hurt and he didn’t need it rubbed in his face.

“I can’t do that, baby,” he said, tossing his cigarette onto the ground and snuffing it out with this boot-clad foot.

“Why not?” I put my hands on my hips. It was one thing if Cane didn’t want to talk to me, but I would be damned if I was going to leave without Diesel at least asking him.

“Come sit with me,” he said and motioned to the bench nearby. He sat down and I joined him.

I settled back and looked at him expectantly. “Well?” If he didn’t let me up there soon, I was going to lose my nerve.

“First of all, Cane isn’t seeing anyone right now except me and our manager. He’s pissed about the tour starting up again tomorrow and in no mood to talk.” He put an arm along the back of the bench and raised his eyebrows at me. “If you thought he was pissed that day he threw you out of his room, you don’t even want to see how he would react today.”

I looked down at my hands in my lap and my shoulders slumped. I guess that was what I expected, but a small part of me hoped he would be dying to see me too.

“Second,” Diesel continued. “I hate to say this, Lindsey, but he blames you for not being able to walk.”

“What?” I gasped and my hands started to tremble. “How is this my fault?”

Diesel shook his head. “You and I both no it’s not. In fact, any rational person knows it’s not, but he’s not rational right now. I kind of want him to use that anger to be honest. The doctor’s say there’s no medical reason he can’t walk again. He’s made it his personal mission to get back on his feet and come back an even bigger and better version of Cane Stephens. And I don’t mean a nice guy either. He wants to be able to fuck any and everything in a dress. He’s angry he let his feelings for you get to him.”

By now the tears were flowing down my cheeks as I listened to Diesel talk. I was angry and hurt that Cane blamed me for his paralysis, but I was also happy to hear he did have feelings for me. I had told myself for so long I didn’t care about him and it was just sex, but I found myself caring about him beyond that. Even though he was such an ass, he had a soft spot in his heart and when he rescued me from Shaun, he showed me that.

“He has feelings for me?” I managed to squeak out through my tears.

“Yes, he does,” he said, reaching into his leather coat to get me a handkerchief. What a gentleman. How many guys still carried those around, especially hard-ass rock stars.

I blew my nose and he shook his head. “You can keep it,” he laughed. Then he leaned into me, a serious look on his face. “Let him be right now. Later, when he’s walking again, if you want to confess your undying love to him, that’s fine. Not now. I need him pissed and determined.

“Ok,” I nodded. If I tried to push things with Cane right now, I would probably make it worse anyway. I stood up and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. “Thanks for the talk, Diesel.”

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