Page 106 of Third Chances (Men of Manhattan 2)

I do want to be with you. I'm just not ready. "I'm sorry," I said instead.

He sighed and stood up. "I'm sorry too. And I hope that you find whatever you're looking for. You deserve to be happy."

"You too. Goodbye, Rob." I held out my hand for him.

He looked down at my hand like it was a foreign object and then back at me. He shook his head, took a step toward me, and grabbed the back of my head. I melted into his touch as his lips brushed softly against mine. That same spark I felt every time we touched went through me. I expected him to keep kissing me, persuading me in a different way. Instead, he immediately released me.

I swallowed hard. He shook his head again and walked away from me without another word. He didn't say goodbye. Derek hadn't said goodbye either. Except I had a chance to go after Rob, whereas Derek was gone forever. But I didn't go after Rob. I just walked toward the zip lining course. Rob needed someone who was full of life. I wasn't a good fit for him. Even if I wanted to be.

Chapter 34

Rob

I pushed through the underbrush, not caring about the twigs scratching my shins. Running always made me feel better. I picked up my pace until it felt like I was flying. This was the best feeling in the world.

I needed to stop lying to myself. Running wasn't the best feeling in the world, fucking was. Being inside Daphne was...stop. I needed to stop. If Daphne didn't want me, I didn't fucking want her either. I wasn't going to pine after some girl I had only known a few days.

The problem was, it didn't feel like I had known her only a few days. I could picture her laying on her blanket with a book in her hand. If I had known how much she was hurting, I would have talked to her. I could have helped her. Worrying about someone was one thing. Losing someone was an entirely different thing. No one should have to feel that alone. But I hadn't talked to her back then. Because I was a coward. And maybe I still was a coward, because I liked her and instead of fighting for her I was literally running in the opposite direction. I wanted to turn around and tell her that I was what she needed. How could she not see that?

I stopped and put my hands on my knees to catch my breath. She doesn't want you. I closed my eyes. Why did it feel like I couldn't get enough air? I stood up and kicked a branch that was laying on the path. "Fuck!" I yelled into the silent air. My curse echoed around me. I was alone. I was always alone.

***

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I moved my arm off my eyes and stared at my brother. "No. I don't." I felt the bottom of the bed sag, even though I had just dismissed him. Why did he always fucking do that? I didn't want to talk to him or anyone else. I rolled off the bed.

"She told me that she lost someone close to her because of an overdose," James said. "Maybe I could talk to her?"

"It was her brother."

James sighed. "I should go talk to her. I understand..."

"What do you understand? What it feels like to lose someone?"

"No, but I know what it feels like to go through.."

"You have no idea what it feels like to go through that! You were on the other side of it. I know what it's like. I was the one that was scared of losing someone. Not the other way around."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't fucking apologize to me."

"But I am sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

"Jesus Christ, James! You don't owe me an apology. I owe you everything. You gave up your whole life so that I could do whatever I wanted. And what have I made for myself?"

"You're happy. That's all that matters."

"I'm not happy."

He frowned. "Then find something that'll make you happy."

"What, traveling? I've been everywhere I want to be. I'm alone. I'm so sick of being alone. I used to see Daphne

studying on the green at the University of New Castle. She was so beautiful and peaceful and I couldn't talk to her because I knew all I'd do was fuck up her life. Just like I fucked up yours."

"You didn't fuck up my life. I made my own choices."

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