Page 110 of Third Chances (Men of Manhattan 2)

Hours? Shit. "What time is it?" I asked again.

"Almost 7 o'clock."

No. They were leaving around 5. "Do you know if Rob is still here?"

"I thought he was with you. He said he was going to talk to you..."

"Are any of them still here?" I pulled away from Alina's embrace and stared at Layla and Kristen.

Layla shook her head. "I'm pretty sure their jet was leaving at 5 o'clock."

I sat down on the edge of the bed and put my face in my hands. "I'm such an idiot." I was so scared of losing someone that I had willingly let someone go.

"Daphne?" Kristen put her arms around me. "Daphne, what happened?"

"I'm an idiot," I said again.

"Do I need to beat someone up for you? Want me to find James and sexually take advantage of him?"

I laughed. "No." If I had any tears left, I would have started crying. But I was probably dehydrated.

"Momma Bear, tell us what's wrong."

"That's what's wrong!" I pushed Kristen off of me. "I never take any risks. I'm pretty sure I've never not been the designated driver. I don't know how to have fun." I was pacing and I couldn't seem to stop.

Layla tried to hand me a water bottle, but I pushed it away.

"That's not true," Kristen said. "We call you that because you always take care of us. And you're always prepared. We love you for that. You know how to have fun. We always have fun when we're together."

"No I don't! I can't just do whatever I want whenever I want. I need a life of structure and checklists and a set schedule every second or else I think about him!"

"Daphne." Alina's eyes were teary.

"I can't put myself in danger because I'm scared of hurting my parents like Derek hurt them." Even though I was dehydrated the tears had started falling down my cheeks again. "And even before he died, I was always worried about him. Always. I just wanted to believe he was better. I thought he was better."

Kristen got up and hugged me. I tried to push her off but she was stronger than me.

"It's my fault." I let myself relax into her.

"It's not your fault." I felt Alina's arms wrap around me too. "We were all together that night. We all thought he was okay."

We had been out celebrating before the start of our last semester of college. And Derek had been killing himself. I'd never know if he did it on purpose. I wanted to believe he wouldn't have. But no matter whether it was on purpose or not, it still felt like he left me. "He left me."

"It was an accident."

"You don't know that."

"He loved you, Daphne."

"Then why did he leave me?" I cried even harder.

No one had anything to say, because there was nothing to say. Kristen and Alina had been friends with Derek too, but it wasn't the same. They didn't understand how worried I had always been. They just didn't. I needed to talk to someone who understood. I needed to talk to Rob. But I hadn't even gotten his phone number. I was never going to see him again.

No. Rob wasn't dead. I could find him. I could apologize. Maybe he'd still want me. There was still a chance. I wanted him.

"I need to go to Newark," I said into Kristen's shoulder.

"What? Why?" Kristen asked.

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