Page 10 of Christmas Wish

Oh my God. I could feel my face turning red. I was mortified that my mom was forcing Tucker to kiss me. But at the same time, I couldn't have been more excited. I nervously looked up at him. The way he was looking at me made me forget everything else. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"Tucker, if you..."

But my words were drowned out when his lips met mine. And it wasn't just a simple peck to appease my mother. His tongue invaded my mouth, making my whole body react in a way I didn't even know was possible. I moved my hands to the back of his neck and deepened the kiss. It wasn't just all the passion that I had for him. I could feel his passion too. As if he really had been waiting years for this kiss, just like me. I felt his hands wander to the small of my back as he pulled my waist toward his. I didn't just want to be kissing him. I wanted to be alone with him. I wanted to explore every inch of him.

I heard my father clear his throat.

Tucker immediately pulled back. His eyes were ablaze. He was looking at me like his thoughts matched my own. If we had been alone, what would have happened? I let go of his neck and pressed my thighs together. But he kept his hands on my back. His cologne was starting to make me feel dizzy.

Is this love? I could no longer tell the difference between what was real and what was just pretend. I so badly wanted tonight to be real.

Tucker's Adam's apple rose and fell as he looked down at me.

I was only vaguely aware of the fact that my family was staring at us.

My father cleared his throat again.

I immediately stepped away from Tucker. "Oh, um..."

Tucker laughed.

"Actually, Tucker has to get going," I said. What is wrong with me? He had just offered to stay. Why am I pushing him away?

Tucker's smile faded. "Right. Yeah, I'm sorry to cut out so soon, but I have to back to hang up stockings. One of the many family traditions."

"It's really coming down out there," my mother said. "Are you sure you don't want to just spend the night?"

"Um," Tucker said and looked down at me for a second. "No, I probably shouldn't. But it was really nice meeting all of you." He looked back down at me. "Do you mind walking me out?" he whispered.

"Of course. I'll be right back," I said to my family.

Tucker grabbed my hand and pulled me to the door. "Merry Christmas," he said over his shoulder.

"Merry Christmas, Tucker," my family said in unison.

Tucker didn't say anything as we stepped out into the snow. But he kept his fingers intertwined with mine. It was like he was waiting for me to say something.

"Tucker." I stopped him in front of his truck. "You really can spend the night."

"Do you want me to spend the night?" He was staring at me the same way he had after we kissed.

"Yeah, I mean, I can make up the couch for you."

He searched my face for a second. "I should probably get back."

"Okay." I let go of his hand.

He looked down at his now empty hand and pressed his lips together. "Well, let me see if I can even get it started." He opened up the door and stepped up into his truck. A second later, his truck roared to life.

I felt my stomach twisting in knots. You couldn't really fake the way he had looked at me. Could you? I wrapped my arms around myself. I hadn't grabbed a jacket. But I think it was more of an internal cold. It seemed like I was having déjà vu. At our high school graduation I had promised myself that I'd talk to him. We had actually made eye contact. And I had immediately turned away from him. But we had made eye contact. Which meant he was looking at me too. Was it really possible that he had liked me this whole time?

He rolled his window down. "I think I can probably get home okay."

I was done always second guessing myself. I wasn't going to let him get away again. I was sick of living a life of regret. "Wait." I ran to the other side of the car, opened up the door, and climbed in next to him. I scooted into the middle seat and turned his keys in the ignition. "When you kissed me. Was that pretend?" I looked up at him.

He looked down at me and shook his head. "No."

"Stay. Really, you can sleep on the couch."

---