Page 16 of Christmas Wish

bsp; He laughed as he looked down at me. "Yeah. The only Christmas present I ever wanted." He sighed and laid down next to me, propping his head up with his hand. "I'm sorry, you probably came over here to talk, not...well." His voice trailed off. "I can't say that I'm sorry that I didn't give you an opportunity to explain." He kissed my forehead and then the tip of my nose.

"Actually, I just felt like a walk in the snow." I smiled up at him.

"At 4 a.m.? Dressed like a slutty Mrs. Claus?"

"Mhm." I had come here to talk to him. To tell him how I really felt. What we had done was intimate, but I still wanted to tell him. I needed him to know how I felt. "No, not really. God, you make me so nervous."

He laughed.

"I couldn't sleep. I didn't want to wait to see you again."

He looked down at me. "I couldn't fall asleep either. Actually, I was about to drive back to your place when I ran into you. That's why I was outside. Except, I had your number, so I was going to call you instead of trying to break a random window."

I laughed. "I didn't think it all the way through. I just really wanted to talk to you."

"Me too." He put his hand on the side of my face. "You asked me if that kiss was real. But you didn't ask me if everything else was."

"I mean, I knew you were just pretending to be my..."

"I wasn't. I meant every word I said tonight. I was such an idiot in high school. I felt the same way about you all those years ago."

"You did not." I laughed. "You don't have to make fun of me. I know, I was such a geek."

"I'm not making fun of you."

I looked up into his eyes. The only things there was sincerity. And maybe desire? Whatever it was made me gulp.

"Julia, I had the biggest crush on you."

"Why didn't you say something?"

"Because you're smart and beautiful and way out of my league."

"You're joking, right?"

"I wasn't like you. You had a full scholarship to college. I was just a jock."

"That's not true. You were so great at football. Everyone thought..."

"It was a long shot. Even before I got hurt. But you...you were always going places."

I think he had more faith in me than I had in myself. I thought back on what he had written down about me. He said he fell in love with me the first time he saw me. How was that possible? How had I never known? "In those movies you mentioned, the main characters always fall in love."

"I know. But I already loved you. I was just trying to figure out if you had real feelings for me. I had to know. And you're really hard to read. You said you had a crush on me and I was surprised. I really never knew. I wished I had known."

I sat up and straddled him like I had in the car and put my hands on either side of his face. "I've had a crush on you for as long as I can remember. Every guy I dated, I compared to you. Which I realize is crazy. Because we never dated. But no one ever measured up to my dreams of you. And I was just having trouble thinking that you could possible love me back. I mean. You're you. And I'm just..."

He leaned forward and kissed me, cutting off my rambling. "And you're amazing."

"I love you, Tucker. I've always loved you."

A door shutting upstairs made us both glance at the ceiling.

"As much as I don't want you to, you should probably get dressed," Tucker said.

I was already up, pulling on my skirt before he had gotten the words out of his mouth.

He sighed and slowly stood up.

---