Page 80 of Single Girl Rules #ThreeHeadedMonster

I repeated it. But now I was wondering if they became my own flesh and blood…did that make it bad to fuck all of them? Nah. Being part of the same final club would make us as related as stepsiblings at the most. Besides, as every good historian knows…even cousin fucking is okay sometimes when you’re elite. #EliteCousinsF. Besides, ala Single Girl Rule #8: If a man has 8 abs and 8 inches, he may not be refused. And they all had those.

“Then by the power vested in me by the brothers of the Gryphon Club, I hereby pronounce you the newest, and only, sister of the Gryphon Club. Welcome!”

“Yeah!” yelled Ash. “I love my best friend!”

Epilogue - Kidnapped!?

Saturday - Oct 10, 2026

“There’s no way I actually yelled that,” said Ash.

“You definitely did,” I said. “Do you really not remember? Oh, right. Banana juice.”

Ash’s eyes got big. “Oh no. No, no, no.”

“What’s wrong?”

“At the start of this story you said that something wild was gonna happen in the bathroom. Like…even wilder than the banana party.”

“Right. I was getting to that.”

“Just rip the Band-Aid off and tell it to me straight. I got drunk on banana juice and then we orgied the punch masters in the bathroom, right?”

“Orgied?” I asked. “Is that even a word?”

“I don’t know! I’m freaking out!” She grabbed my shoulders.

“I’m getting to it. Just let me finish…”

“No! This story was already way longer than it should have been. I can’t wait any longer to find out what happened in that bathroom.”

“Gah, fine. You’ve killed the narrative momentum now anyway.” I plopped down in front of the bookshelf where I first found the Single Girl Rules.

“So…orgy?”

“No. There was no orgy. Sure, Jack and the punch masters tried to use the invitation. But the Grand Gryphon had made me a member instead of Chad. So the invitation wasn’t valid yet. Poor Jack looked so sad when he realized he wasn’t gonna get to bang me.”

“Seriously? Then what happened in the bathroom?” Ash sat down next to me.

“Oh. You got kidnapped.”

“WHAT?!” She fell backwards and nearly knocked over the entire shelf of Russian lit.

“Yeah. I was busy flirting with members to see if I could get any hot goss about what was going on with Chad’s family’s finances. To see if Teddybear was telling the truth about Chad’s diabolical plan to steal all Daddy’s money. Anyway, you slipped away to go to the bathroom. And that was when the Banana King bagged you.”

Ash just stared at me.

And then something hit me. “Holy shit! I just realized something crazy.”

“What?”

“Rule #3. I know what it means! It’s a warning that you should never let your friends go to the bathroom alone so that they don’t get kidnapped. Who would have thought?”

“Chastity. You literally quoted me saying exactly that at least once during that insane story.”

“Huh, I guess you did!” I went to give her a high five.

“No! No high fives. I’m freaking out. Because you told me that I wasn’t a virgin when I got married. And then started telling me a story presumably about how I lost my virginity. Which ended with me getting freaking kidnapped by the Banana King! Did the Banana King take my virginity?!”

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