Page 5 of Single Girl Rules #ThreeHeadedMonster

“She kneed me.”

“And deservedly so. Seriously, dude. You can’t just go grabbing at a girls’ knees all willy-nilly. That’s a very delicate area. Do you know how long it takes to heal an ACL?”

“I didn’t go for her knees!”

“I know.” I stifled a laugh. “I’m just messing with you. This one is totes on me. And to make up for it, I’ll let you bend me over the fountain sometime.”

His eyes lit up.

“But maybe not tonight, because it sounds like Chad has something planned. And I might have to take Ash to therapy. I don’t want her to freak out when we try this again tomorrow morning.”

“What?!”

“Oh, and don’t worry, I’ll let Ash know this was a Single Girl Rule thing, so she’ll understand. Maybe wait a bit before you come back to the room though so she has time to calm down. But don’t take too long, because there’s a shit ton of banana stuff you need to clean up.” I spun on my heel and walked out of the bathroom.

I couldn’t wait to explain what happened to Ash. She was gonna think it was hilarious. But in the meantime…I had a feeling that it would be smart to enter the room very slowly. Actually, entering at all would probably be a bad idea. A gentle

knock accompanied by a note passed under the door would probably be the safest approach. Because even though Ash appeared sweet and innocent, I knew that deep down she was a feisty bitch.

Which meant that things were about to go very badly for whoever was at our door.

Chad?

“Chad!” I called. But it was a second too late.

He opened the door and walked in.

Ash screamed, “DIE, PERVERT!!!!!!”

Chad covered his face and screamed louder. And much much higher pitched. And then he ran out of the room and face first into the wall across the hall.

I ran over and got there just in time to prevent Ash from jumping on him.

“Chastity!” she yelled. “Be careful! He’s a filthy shower pervert.” She held up pepper spray in one hand and a loaf of banana bread in the other in a very threatening manner.

“Whoa,” I said. “Put the banana bread down. And the pepper spray. It’s just Chad.”

“Your boyfriend?”

I nodded my head. “You’ve met him before. And he’s not the shower pervert.”

Chad was hunched over in a ball crying. But I was pretty sure he was fine. I’d pepper sprayed tons of guys. It didn’t kill them or anything.

Ash looked back and forth between us. “Hmm…you’re right. The shower pervert was naked.” Then she squinted at me. “And wait a second. You were there too. And you said something about having a surprise for me.”

“So…funny story. The shower pervert was Teddybear. And I was the one who put him up to it. But I promise it came from a good place.”

“Chastity! Why on Earth would you do that?”

“Rule #3: Never let a friend go into a bathroom alone. Teddybear and I were talking and we figured out that it means you should always send a hot stud into the bathroom if your friend goes in alone.”

“Wow. That is definitely not what Rule #3 means. It’s so no one gets kidnapped. Or…worse.”

“It’s open to debate.”

Ash shook her head and looked over at Chad. He was still curled up on the ground holding his eyes. “Chad, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to attack you. I thought you were a deranged pervert.”

“Well you’re right about him being a pervert,” I said. “He should really learn not to barge into women’s rooms unannounced.”

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