Page 40 of Single Girl Rules #ThreeHeadedMonster

“Yeah. Oh shit is right.” I went over to one of the sinks and started dabbing at the spot on my dress. “There is a silver lining, though.”

“How?”

“Well, first of all, can I just say how proud I am of you for following Single Girl Rule #3 to a tee? You were on top of that.”

Ash smiled. “Yeah I was!”

I gave her a high five.

“But also…maybe the test isn’t as simple as being nice to the waiters. Me blowing Adonis in that picture and Chad wearing a thong the entire time had them wondering if he was brave or stupid. What if the waiter was flirting with me on purpose to see if Chad would stand up for himself?”

“I think it’s more likely that he was flirting with you because you look amazing in that dress.”

“How amazing?” I asked.

“I don’t know. Amazing. Ten out of ten.”

I stared at her.

She stared back. And then she laughed. “Oh right. Here.” She reached out and honked my boobs.

“Girl, I’m so proud of you,” I said. “You just used two different single girl rules in the span of like two minutes.”

“I did, didn’t it?” Ash looked so proud of herself.

“Wanna go three for three and help me ensure that Chad gets into the Gryphon Club?”

“That depends heavily on the rule you’re hoping to invoke.”

“Rule #25: Don’t be ashamed to use sex to get what you want.”

“That’s gonna be a hard pass for me.”

“Are you sure? Wait! You’d really be going four for four. Because if you help me out here, we’d also use Rule #28: All girls should try at least one threesome. I know you seemed keen on that earlier when we were at the football game.”

“Did you hear that?” asked Ash. “It sounded like someone walking with a tray of food. Which means it’s crab cake time!”

A likely story. “Okay, you can go eat your crab cakes. But I have one request.”

She laughed and honked my boobs again.

“Aw, thanks. But I didn’t need another compliment. What I really need is for that hot waiter to bring me a few more napkins.”

“But there are plenty right there.”

I grabbed them all and stuffed them in the trash. “Not anymore.”

“Oh. Oh! I see what’s happening here. I’ll send him right in. Good luck!” She walked out of the bathroom.

I slid my dress off and fixed my makeup in the mirror. My sexy waiter who smelled like pina coladas would be arriving any second.

Chapter 10 - Piña Cumlada

Saturday, Sept 14, 2013

“Come in!” I called when I heard the knock on the bathroom door. “But don’t look.”

I checked my naked body in the mirror once more. That red dress had looked amazing on me, but I looked even more amazing in only my heels.

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