Ash’s eyes got big.
“Yes, yes. Van Doren sculpt best penis,” said Slavanka.
“No way!” I said. “Are you a fellow grotesque connoisseur?” Slavanka just kept getting cooler and cooler.
“What about penises?” asked Scooter
.
I pointed up at the roof.
“Well shit,” he said. “I’m gonna have to sue the Gryphon Club, because they were not authorized to use the likeness of my dick on their gargoyles.”
Yeah right.
“I think maybe I’ll just have Ghost take me back to the dorms…” said Ash.
“I’ll go back with you,” said Scooter. “I can make you an octuple-egg smoothie and we can try out some new BFR bands I got. What do you squat? 450?”
“Uh, actually. I already promised Chastity that I’d go to this party.” Ash got out of the limo so fast.
Thank you, Scooter.
We all followed her up to the front door. I grabbed the eagle head knocker and tapped it against the thick wooden door.
A little window slid open and two dark eyes peered through at us. “Password?”
I stepped aside to let Chad answer.
“Roses are red, violets are blue. For my future brothers, I brought something new.” He gestured to me, Ash, and Slavanka.
Oooh. I’m their offering? Yes, please.
The window slammed shut and then the door creaked open. But no one was there. It was just a dimly lit foyer with way too much wood trim on the walls.
“I guess we go in?” asked Chad.
I shrugged and stepped inside. Everyone else followed. And then the door slammed shut behind us.
Ash jumped and grabbed my arm.
“It’s okay,” I said. “They’re just messing with us. Classic pledge hazing.”
“Is it?” asked Ash. “I really think we’re about to get murdered.”
“We’ll protect you,” said Chad, puffing out his chest.
Slavanka laughed. “Hehe. Friendboy make funny joke.” She pried a great sword out of the hands of one of the suits or armor that lined the hallway. “Now we safe.”
We took a few more steps into the hallway. And then Ash tapped my shoulder. “Pssst. Chastity.”
“Yeah?”
“I have to pee. Like…really badly. Scary things shrink my bladder.”
“Okay, we’ll find you a bathroom. Wait a second! This must be what Single Girl Rule #3 is all about. Never let your friend go into a bathroom alone in a creepy mansion.”
“Sure,” said Ash, jumping back and forth with her legs pressed together. “Just find me a bathroom before I pee my pants.”