Page 14 of Single Girl Rules #ThreeHeadedMonster

He turned his permanently smiling head to check me out, and then he turned his focus back to Chad and his friends. “I’m going to ask you three a series of questions about Harvard. If I don’t hear the correct answer within ten seconds, then you need not show up to the Gryphon Club party this evening. Or ever. Understood?”

The boys all nodded without looking back.

“When was Harvard founded?” asked the mascot.

“1636,” said Chad.

“How many Nobel laureates are associated with Harvard?”

“160.”

“Presidents?”

“Eight.”

The quiz went on and on forever. Chad knew most of the answers. And whenever he didn’t know one, Trent would chime in. Together, they were flawless with their Harvard trivia.

How long is this gonna go on? We’d gotten to the game near the end of the third quarter, and now it was well into the fourth. More importantly, I needed a hot dog. And I couldn’t send Chad to fetch me one until he was finished with his little quiz.

“What is the significance of the three headed monster?” asked the mascot.

Chad shifted in his seat. “The three headed monster is, uh…”

“Significant because…” added Trent.

Oh come on, guys! How had they not heard about the three headed monster? The Towel Drop was posting like an article a day about it. And it was all anyone could talk about on the Hot Football Studs forum.

I thought Scooter might finally be able to help out with an answer, but he stayed silent. Their ten seconds were almost up.

Good thing they brought me.

“The three headed monster refers to three true freshmen on the Harvard football team,” I said to the mascot. “And they’re significant because they’re all projected to go in the top 10 of the NFL draft when they achieve eligibility at the end of their junior year. That will be the first time any Harvard player has gone in the first round.” They were also significant because they were extremely hot. I couldn’t wait for them to get on the field again so I could keep checking them out.

“Correct,” said the mascot. “And who are you?”

I turned in my chair to look at him again. “I’m Chastity Morgan. And I’m significant because…well, look at me. But since you seem to be mostly concerned with career accomplishments, I’m also significant because I’m going to turn Daddy’s real estate empire into the world’s first trillion-dollar business.”

“I didn’t ask why you were significant.”

“I know.”

“I was asking who you are because you weren’t the one supposed to be answering my questions. This was a test for potential brothers of the Gryphon Club. Which they have now failed.”

“Wrong,” I corrected. “You said that you needed to hear an answer to each question within 10 seconds. You never specified who had to give the answer.”

He let out a heavy sigh. “Very well. One final question. Who are the three heads of the three headed monster?”

“Easy,” I replied. “Running back Shaka Hung, wide receiver Flash Robinson, and quarterback Adonis Papachristodoulopoulos.”

The mascot listened very carefully as I said each syllable of Adonis’ last name. But I said it flawlessly, because I’m awesome. And it didn’t hurt that I’d typed it like a billion times while google image searching him to try to find some proper dick pics.

“Not bad,” said the mascot. He handed a piece of paper labeled PASSWORD to Chad and then got up and left.

Chad let out a huge sigh, like he’d been holding his breath the entire time they were being quizzed. “Oh my God. I thought we were screwed when he asked about the three headed monster.”

“Luckily you have the most amazing girlfriend ever,” I said. “And to thank me for my amazingness, I’ll take one hot dog please. Actually, make it two. Have I told you my theory that meat and bread go straight to my tits?”

Trent looked at my boobs. “You must have been eating a lot of meat and bread then.”

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