Page 15 of Single Girl Rules #ThreeHeadedMonster

Damn right I have. I pushed my arms together to make my cleavage look even more amazing.

Chad punched him in the arm. “Dude, stop looking at her tits. Come on, let’s go get some hot dogs.”

Ash and Slavanka put their orders in and then the boys got up to get our snacks.

“Alright, ladies,” I said. “The offense is finally coming onto the field. This is our chance to get noticed by the players.” I slid a big foam finger onto my hand and then stood up to cheer. “Go Harvard!” I yelled, jumping up and down.

“Ahh!” yelled Ash. “Be careful!” She grabbed my arm and yanked me back onto the bench.

“What?” I asked.

She pointed to my chest. “Your boob was popping out!”

“No, no,” said Slavanka. “Tasteful underboob.” She honked my boobs twice to properly compliment my outfit, a la Single Girl Rule #20.

“Aw, thanks girl. I agree, my underboob was quite tasteful. And if the players wanna see more, they’re gonna have to invite me to their locker room to help celebrate their victory.”

“Is that really a thing that happens?” asked Ash.

“Uh, of course it is. Most of the confirmed sightings on The Towel Drop are from girls who got invited back into the locker room to be the post-game entertainment.”

Ash’s eyes got huge. “And by post-game entertainment, you mean…a gangbang?”

“Oh my God, Ash! You’re so naughty. Of course they don’t get gangbanged. They usually just blow the MVP of the game. But it’s not unheard of for a few other guys to join in if they have really big cocks. So yeah, I guess sometimes it’s a gangbang.”

“Please tell me you’re not going to leave us alone with Chad and his friends. Scooter keeps telling me about his workout routine and I don’t know how to tell him to stop.”

“Of course I’m not going to leave you alone! I’m thinking that Single Girl Rule #3 is actually: Never let a friend go into a locker room alone. So you and Slavanka can definitely come with me. Together we can try to tame the three headed monster. Which one do you want? I’ve got my eye on Adonis, but the other two definitely look interesting. Maybe we should all just take turns with each of them?”

Ash started breathing really fast. “Tame a monster? Why would you think I’m into mon

ster erotica? Did you see something on my phone? Not that there’s anything to see. Okay! Fine! I admit it. I read an article about a big-foot sex book being really popular so I downloaded a sample. But it was weird. There was so much foot stuff. And his feet were so big.” She fanned her armpits.

Is she nervous or turned on? “Whoa, relax. We’re not gonna bang a literal monster. It’s the three headed monster.”

“I’m so confused.”

“The three headed monster! They’re literally all anyone can talk about on The Towel Drop.” How has no one heard about this but me?

“The towel what?” asked Ash.

“Hold everything. You’ve never heard of The Towel Drop?”

Ash shook her head.

“Wow. Seriously?” Then it hit me. “I guess you prefer The Daily Bulge?”

“You mean The Daily Bugle? Like in Spiderman?”

I laughed. But it didn’t seem like she was joking. Which meant she was majorly missing out on some delicious man candy. “Okay, wow. You have a lot of catching up to do. But luckily I’m here to bring you up to speed on all the hot goss about the three headed monster.” I looked down at the field. Harvard’s offense was driving. “The first part of the three headed monster is Shaka Hung, the running back. Known colloquially as Master Hung due to his patient, almost meditative running style.” Right on cue, he took a handoff and came to nearly a complete stop behind the offensive line. A linebacker broke through and tried to tackle him, but Master Hung effortlessly stepped aside and the would-be tackler came up empty. Then a hole opened up and Hung absolutely exploded into it. He juked out two more defenders before someone finally latched onto him. But they still couldn’t take him down. He must have had ridiculous balance, because it took three defenders literally riding on his back to bring him down.

“HUNNNNG!” chanted the crowd.

“He’s actually pretty impressive,” said Ash.

I squinted to try to get a better look. “You can see his bulge from here? I guess he’s your pick, then?”

“I was talking about the run! And just because I read half of one weird book, it doesn’t mean I’m a sex freak. I’m a good girl. So no gangbangs for me.”

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