Page 1 of Single Girl Rules #ThreeHeadedMonster

Chapter 1 - Here He Comes!

Saturday, Sept 14, 2013

I awoke to the sound of weird mouth noises.

Is Ash blowing one of my bodyguards?

She had really come out of her shell last night so it wouldn’t surprise me that much. But no, she was just moving her mouth around and rubbing her jaw.

“What are you doing?” I asked as I shielded my eyes from the morning sun streaming into our dorm.

She wiggled her jaw again and shot an angry look at the loaf of banana bread on her nightstand. “Can you get tetanus from banana bread? My jaw hurts like hell. And my face feels…stiff.”

“No, it’s not tetanus. It’s just a sign that you threw me the best bachelorette party ever.”

She looked confused. “How is this the sign of a good bachelorette party? Did we have an epic food fight that I’m somehow forgetting? Because it feels like I smeared a banana all over my face.”

“That’s a nice PG-13 way to sum up what happened,” I said with a laugh. And then I rubbed my jaw too. “Ow. I forgot how much this hurts. It’s been forever since I got cockjaw.”

“Lockjaw?” gasped Ash. “I thought you said it wasn’t tetanus!”

“No, silly. Cockjaw. As in…when your jaw hurts from sucking too many cocks.”

Ash stared at me for a good five seconds. And then she laughed. “Oh my God,” she said between laughs. “For a second I thought you were being serious.”

“Girl, don’t pretend like you don’t remember sucking off those strippers last night. You were amazing!”

Ash laughed again.

Is she still drunk?

“I’m gonna go shower,” she said. “My face is gonna be a mess if I don’t scrub this banana off ASAP. You know how sensitive my skin is.”

A good face-full of cum always had me glowing the next day. But Ash did have unusually sensitive skin. Whenever we did something new, or talked to strangers, or were anywhere near hot guys her face always turned bright red. I had no idea what caused it.

She grabbed her towel and stepped around a plate of banana bread. “And if you clean up, save a little banana bread. I need to send a sample to a lab to test for tetanus. I had a feeling one of those bananas had turned…”

I nodded. But I’d stopped listening after the bit about “If you clean up.” What kind of basic bitch would clean up after their own bachelorette party? Or…ever? I had men for that. I was honestly a little surprised that getting males to clean for you wasn’t a Single Girl Rule.

Speaking of which…

I pulled out my list of the Single Girl Rules and scanned down them.

Rule #1: Boys are replaceable, friends are forever.

Check. Ash and I were besties. No boys would ever get between us.

Rule #2: Girls’ night is every Friday. No exceptions.

It would take a lifetime to truly check this one off. But my bachelorette party last night had been the most epic first girls’ night ever. So until next Friday rolled around, Rule #2 was complete.

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