Page 47 of This Is Love (The Light to My Darkness 3)

The hot summer day had turned into a cool night. I closed my eyes for a moment, remembering it feeling just like this the night of that party so long ago. The night that James walked me home. I opened my eyes and stared out at Main Street. Some of the shops were different. Actually, a lot of them were. But our coffee shop still stood there, exactly the same. James had made sure of that.

I pulled him toward it. “I remember that day so perfectly. When we first met.” I laughed, remembering James trying to reenact the scene to jog my memory. “I remember, James. And not just because I read about it. I really remember. Honestly, I think I remember everything except that last day. And that’s probably for the best, right? So I’m all better.” I wanted to throw my hands in the air to celebrate, but James was staring at me strangely.

He smiled down at me. But there was something sad in his smile. It didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“James, what’s wrong? Dr. Hughes sounded optimistic, didn’t he? I know we have to wait for the test results, but…I think it’s going to be good news.”

“Nothing’s wrong.” He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

Lies. Why was he lying? “You said you had something to tell me. What is it?”

“Let’s head back to the apartment. I think we could both use a drink.”

In all the years I had been with him, he never said he needed a drink. He certainly never suggested that I needed one. It felt like my stomach turned over. Something was wrong. He was hiding something big from me. And I wasn’t going to wait another second to hear whatever it was. I pulled away from him. “James. Just tell me. You said it yourself, your hopes are up. Everything is looking good. We should be enjoying this moment instead of…” I gestured at him. “Whatever it is you’re doing right now.”

His sigh was heavy. “I didn’t tell you everything when you woke up. You didn’t remember me. You didn’t remember our family. I didn’t want to add any stress to that equation. But you’re good now. And Liam…Liam…”

My heart ached. “I talked to Liam’s doctor back in New York. I know about all the issues. And the potential ones down the line. He told me everything. He answered all my questions.”

“It’s not about Liam. I’m sorry. I was just…trying to find the right words.” He looked nervous and upset.

The sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach grew. A sinking feeling that felt so familiar. A pain that felt like it was happening in that moment. I cringed.

“Penny, are you okay?” His voice sounded far away. “Let’s just get you back to the apartment.” He put his hand on my lower back to guide me where he wanted.

“No.” I pushed him off. “The man I married didn’t rely on substances for the strength to tell me the truth. Whatever it is, just tell me. Tell me, James!”

“I’m not trying to get you drunk. Jesus.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I just feel like we should both at least be sitting down. I need to sit down.”

My stomach flipped over again. And everything came back in a flash.

I opened the door and smiled down at my daughter.

"Hi, Mommy." She looked up at me in a strange way. As if she were studying me.

"Hi, Scar, I missed you." I bent down to hug her but she ran past me.

"Ellie!" she screamed.

I tried not to show the disappointment on my face. I had told myself that she wanted to hang out with Rob because she missed her father and wanted to hang out with another male in James' absence. But that wasn't the case. She seemed perfectly content as Ellen picked her up.

"Hi, sweet girl," Ellen said. "Did you have fun at the office?"

"Yes! I got to play with the copy machine."

I glanced at Rob.

He shrugged his shoulders.

"Come in," I said. "I hope she wasn't a nuisance."

"Nah, it was fun. Soph never wants to come to work with me. Everyone doted on her all morning. They couldn't stop talking about her beautiful red hair."

"Mhm." I looked over at Scar. Ellen was taking her upstairs to play. Ellen could entertain her for hours, yet she didn't want to spend one minute alone with me.

"James called last night to say goodnight to Scarlett. And he may have mentioned that you needed this."

I smiled and grabbed the grocery bag that I hadn't noticed. "I love you so much, Rob." I pulled out the pint of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream. "Do you want some?"

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