Page 25 of This Is Love (The Light to My Darkness 3)

I swallowed hard. I remembered the sex being amazing. I knew that he was perfection underneath that towel. But he wasn’t offering that to me. He didn’t want me. And I honestly couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t want me. It felt like my heart couldn’t beat any faster. That my cheeks couldn’t be any redder. I swallowed hard. He doesn’t want you anymore, Penny. You ruined everything.

I pulled my hand back like his skin had stung me. Of course he didn’t love me anymore. He was a Greek god. And I was just…me. The scales were so tipped in his favor that it didn’t make any logical sense for us to be together in the first place. Except one thing that wasn’t tangible. He loved me. Love balanced the scales. But I lost it. I lost him.

Minutes ago he had run down the steps of this house and kissed me like I was his whole world. Now? He had time to realize that I wasn’t worth it. He had time to see me crying on a bathroom floor. He had seen me. The real me. A literal puddle of the person I once was. And now he knew better than to love me.

I expected him to walk away from me. Instead, he pulled me into his arms and hugged me impossibly tight. And as soon as his arms were around me, I started crying again. I hugged him back. Maybe he didn’t want to make love to me anymore, but I’d take what I could get.

“I don’t know what else I can say.” My words were jumbled by the water falling on top of us. “I don’t know how to apologize enough. I wasn’t me. And I was horrible to you. But that wasn’t me. That’s not how I feel. I love you. I love you, James.” I was clinging to him so tightly I wasn’t sure he could breathe.

“Just don’t leave me again.” His words almost got lost in the steam, but I heard them. “My heart can’t take it. Please stop running away from what we have.”

Suddenly everything clicked. Like a million little pieces falling into place. He thought I ran out on him again tonight? That’s what he thought? God. “James, I didn’t run out on you tonight. I didn’t. I know I tried to once, but I’d never do that now.”

“It’s okay, I’m just glad you’re back…”

“James, I swear I didn’t. I was already starting to remember what we had. It was Dr. Nelson. He attacked me in Central Park.”

“What?” The vulnerability in his voice was gone. He pulled back and he looked like he was about to commit murder and end up in a jail cell right beside the one Dr. Nelson was probably sitting in right now.

“It’s okay, he’s in custody. Dr. Nelson tried to hurt me, but Tyler saw the whole thing. He stopped him.”

“Tyler saved you.” He said the words slowly like he didn’t understand.

“Yeah…I guess you could put it that way.” I wasn’t sure what he wanted me to say. Yes, Tyler had rescued me. I couldn’t exactly sugarcoat the truth.

He just stared at me.

“Technically he did save me. But it was random luck. He just happened to be on a run. I was lucky.”

“Tyler.” He released me from his embrace. “Of course. I looked everywhere for you, but your fucking knight in shining armor saved the day.” He stood up.

“James.” I scrambled to my feet and almost slipped on the slick tile. “You’re not seriously upset?”

“How am I supposed to feel after I saw that you were reading all about him before you disappeared?”

What was he talking about? “I shuffled the pages around because I read a…” I awkwardly cleared my throat. “I happened to read a heated scene between you and me and didn’t want anyone to know where I left off. I guess something else ended up on top?”

“So it was a coincidence that all your encounters with Tyler were spread out all over the coffee table?”

“Yes.” Damn, how did that happen? Luck was only on my side once tonight, I guess. I was glad I wasn’t dead, but I really freaking wished James wasn’t looking at me the way he was right now. The steam in the shower might as well have been coming out of his ears.

“Penny, the reason you didn’t tell me your favorite movie was because it reminds you of him. H

e’s your Westley.”

I shook my head. “What? No.”

“You felt him up while you watched the movie together.”

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about. When? When I was 19? Jesus, James, it’s like you said. It’s just a dumb movie.”

“A dumb movie that the 19-year-old version of you loved.”

“Well she fucking sucked. I think we both can agree to that. She was an idiot. The only good thing she ever did was sleep with her professor.”

“That’s debatable.”

I wasn’t sad anymore. I was seething. “Which part? That you were the only good decision I made back then? Or that you were even a good decision at all?” I poked him hard in the middle of his chest. “I never asked for you to save me. If I remember correctly, which I feel like I do now, you were never a white knight. You were a dark one. We didn’t ride off into the sunset. We fought for our love. Just like I’m doing now. So don’t stand there and tell me that we were a mistake all those years ago, because you couldn’t be more wrong. You should be thanking Tyler for saving me. I could have been dead. And there’s no way you could live without me either, James.” I threw his words back at him.

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