Page 16 of This Is Love (The Light to My Darkness 3)

"I'll take whatever you can give me."

"All I can offer you is friendship. Honestly, Tyler, you're my best friend. You've always been there for me..."

"I can't be your friend anymore." He let his hand fall from my cheek. "I thought I could be. But now? No. I need more than that. I can't live my whole life in denial."

"I'm sorry."

He shoved his hands into his pockets. "So...Chicago?"

I nodded. "My new flight leaves tonight. I think maybe I need to do a little soul searching."

"And you know for sure that what you're looking for isn't me?" He gave me a sheepish smile that ripped my heart in half. "How are you so sure?"

I pressed my lips together. There was something else that I hadn't told him. But I didn't want to. It wasn't fair. It was just in my head.

"Tell me." I shook my head. He grabbed my hand. "Tell me. If it's something I can fix..."

"No." I swallowed hard. "Seeing you reminds me that it's my fault that James broke up with me. Because I insisted on being your friend. I made this happen."

"It hurts you to see me?" I closed my eyes and nodded. He dropped my hand. "I'd do anything for you. You know that right?"

I wiped away the tears that had started to fall down my cheeks again.

"Penny, look at me."

I slowly opened my eyes. The hurt on his face was palpable.

"Everything in my gut is telling me to stay and fight for you. But if you want me to leave, I'll leave. Is that what you want?"

"I'm sorry."

His Adam's apple rose and fell. "I can't be your friend anymore."

"I know."

He nodded his head. "I guess this is goodbye then?"

"Where are you going to go?" I thought about his apartment in New York. Melissa was probably waiting there, seething. Hating both of us.

"I think maybe I need a fresh start too," he said. "Somewhere...sunnier." I nodded. "I hope you find what you're looking for."

"I already found what I was looking for," Tyler said with a sigh. "Now...now I'm running away because it hurts too fucking much."

"Tyler..."

"Go back to New York, Penny. Don't spend your whole life missing him. It's exhausting to deny yourself what you want, to spend your whole life dreaming about what you're missing."

The fact that he was talking about me made my chest hurt even more.

"I really hope that you two work it out," he said.

"Thanks, Tyler." I took a step toward him to hug him goodbye, but he immediately took a step back.

"Bye, Penny." He turned around and walked away from me. I watched him climb back into his car. I lifted my hand to wave goodbye, but he didn't look back as he pulled away from the curb and out of my life.

I took a deep breath like I had just woken up in the middle of a nightmare. Tyler was looking down at me with concern etched across his face.

“I hurt you,” I said. “All those years ago I hurt you and I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.”

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